My dear dear cousin made my day! haha... Together with her sisters, they brought her mum to pay a new year visit to our house. Upon seeing me, she said, "you're very pretty." I went "huh"? I thought i heard tht wrong thing. Then she repeated herself, with the most charming smile on her face, "You're very pretty." haha... so happy. however, i was kinda embarrassed and I just thanks her for the compliment. I guess it was becoz i juz had a bath and, ya know, I think gals always look their best when they've juz finished bathing. The water vapour or water droplets kinda help to present the gals at their best. haha... I dunnoe, that's from my experience :D...
However, sad to say, i seriously don't even know that this cousin of mine ever exists. I simply have too many cousins. I have over 50 cousins, 50++ nephews and nieces (with some even older than me, yeah, older "=_=)... so altogether, I have nearly 150 relatives. Not distant relatives. The thought of it is enough to freak me out. I don't even recognise some of cousins, needless to say their daughters and sons. However, I proud that I'm able to recognise all my aunts and uncles. I thought it was really interesting how juz 10 persons (my aunts and uncles) are able to branch out to over 150++ ppl. I did not include my dad's side, as it was far far more complicating. And i chose to ignore the other side of my dad's as I've never seen them in my entire life before.
I was suggesting to my mum that we should do a family tree where it will start off with her sisters and brothers. It will then slowly branch out to my generation with all my cousins, followed by my nephews and nieces. In addition, a photograph will accompany each name. This will effectively help me to recognise each of them and not make a fool out of myself when i see them. If not, I really think that after my mum's generation, my brothers and I will juz unintentionally break off contacts with the others. Even if I happen to meet any of my cousins or nephews or nieces on the street, I'll juz walk past them without knowing that I'm somewhat related to them. This is damn depressing. This happened quite a few times. Haha... very embarassing.
I guess I was too traumatised at the annual gathering of all my relatives from my mum's side. That's why i was suggesting this wat-is-thought-to-be-lame-idea to my mum. Whenever lunar new year arrives, a gathering would be held to create stronger bond among all my relatives. Everyone takes their turn to organise this "event of the year". This year was held at my cousin's house. Although she lives in a landed property, it does not seem to be able to hold over 100+ people. The entire bungalow was "flooded" with people. People with familiar and unfamiliar faces. People whom I've never spoken a word to in my entire life. However, everyone enjoyed themselves and indulged fully in the festive season. It had been a long time since everyone gathered to celebrate.
Actually, this year's gathering was cancelled as my uncle who was my mum's 3rd brother, passed away last October. He was diagnosed with diabetes, which left him blind and crippled for the rest of his life. Life was a struggle for him then. His fear of lonliness was so overwhelming that he always ensured that his family is by his side. As a result, my cousins' grades suffered as they had to take turns to take care of him. I remembered once, when my mum and I paid him at the hospital. He was screaming at my cousin who was trying to change the diaper for him. As it was inconvenient for him to go to the restroom without the help of anyone, it was necessary for him to a an adult diaper.
He was an egoistic person. He deemed it was something embarrassing. He deemed the help received from his children as an act of humiliation. However, he was simply helpless. He had to put his ego aside when this disease robbed him of his eyesight and limbs. It was a painful experience for him. He lived in a world of darkness, where sometimes in the middle of the night, he would wake up screaming. He simply refused to accept this reality. I remembered him saying this to my mum, "I'm very scared. It's so dark. I simply could not see anything." Such sentence came out from a person who used to be so egoistic, so highly respected, was hard to imagine.
He seemed to be as helpless as a newborn baby. He juz sat at the edge of the bed, and looking down as if he was trying to hide away his depressed expression from us. He was desperately trying to save that little pride that he had left. He wanted to show that he was still as strong and egoistic as before. However, everything seemed to betrayed him.
My mum would sigh and, occasionally tear after every visit. It was a very depressing sight. However, i guess the most comforting is that his daughters and son were by his side all the while. Although he always shouted and scolded them, they remained by his side and accompanied him throughout his remaining days. At the his wake, everyone teared except his children. They took on the roles of comforting my mum and other relatives. They were glad that their dad had finally broke away from all these pains and sufferings embarked on another journey. They remained strong throughout, this is something which everyone, including me, deeply admired about. I guess their dad must be smiling and feeling proud of them.
oblivion
