oblivion

strange encounters

2008-06-02T23:20:00.003+08:00

Honestly, this is the first time I felt i've totally screwed up my entire exams. I mean, literally, the entire exam. The worst thing that could ever happen was to fall sick during the exam period, where my immune system totally collapsed. It just felt like a nightmare to me for the past few weeks.

Also, I guess the complacency that sets within me plays a part too. Oh well, there's always a first time. I'm mentally prepared to re-take the exams though, taking a light-hearted kinda feel towards it now. =)

Ha. Anyway, during the exams period, something strange happened which i thought was quite funny recollecting back. There was this one time, after taking the medicine, I continued to mug till the wee hours of the night in my bedroom. Suddenly, I was drawn towards some rattling noise in the living room which was in total darkness. And I saw this tin can rolling by itself on the floor. Usually, the windows in the living room would be closed. Thus, the possibility that the movement was triggered by the wind blow was eliminated. So, what caused the tin can to roll on the floor? Nevertheless, at that point of time, I guess i was too "intoxicated" by public law and the medicine, I just faced towards the living room and uttered, "Wish me luck for my exam tmr" sub-consciously and I continued mugging. I wasn't thinking too much either. ha. (come to think of it, i'm quite taken aback by my own reaction)

A few days later, I kinda recollected back this incident, which I thought was a dream and told my parents. Then, my mum got freaked out la. ha... coz prior to this, my sister-in-law kinda shared with us her encounter with my "uncle", who had passed away eons ago, within our own very house. In that encounter, my "uncle" was sitting beside her on the sofa and chatting with her. And, coinidentally, my sister-in-law was on medication (like me) at that time.

Ha. so, perhaps, medicine does make people lose their senses at times, especially when it's late at night.

oblivion

17/5/08

2008-05-17T22:40:00.002+08:00

*pat pat*

Woah, din realise that I've been MIA for so looooong. haha...

My first year is officially coming to an end soon on 2nd June! That's when my last paper will be, and I can visualise myself jumping around and singing "Joy to the WORLD"! haha... But, it just seems quite out of reach though. I guess I've really lost touch with exams. So, feeling jittering here an there. And yeah, absolutely minus 0 confidence for the exams. So, going to the temple over at bugis to pray on tuesday (1 day right before exam starts). I guess that's what people called hugging buddha's foot at the eleventh hour (lin shi bao fou jiao). haha...

Earlier this month, I guess i was quite caught up with this exam fever that I dreamt that 3 of my subject's chapters were GODs! It's akin to visualising Maths, Science and English as 3 Gods respectively. haha... yeah, silly indeed. In my dream, these 3 Gods were like performing some supernatural powers on me. And I vivdly recalled that one of the 3 Gods was hurling a green ball of fire onto my left shoulder, leaving me badly injured! haha... then when I woke up, I was having having a real bad headache. But I was laughing at my stupid dream. So, from that day onwards, those 3 chapters were named the 3 Gods. Haha... This is what law does to u. It just makes u insane at times... ha

Can't wait for my holidays to start though it will only last for less than a month? haha... just gonna make full use of it so kinda made plans for it. Going Malaysia and perhaps Hong Kong? Waiting patiently... urgh

oblivion

Smile =)

2008-02-08T01:24:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year!!! =)

Woah, never did I realise that I've been MIA for such a long period of time. Ha.
Oh well, for the past couple of months, everything had seemed prettaye surreal to me to the extent that I had literally given up on myself. It just felt like I've sunk to a bottomless pit again, where I would want to segregate myself from the crowd and hide in my own world. I guess when too many problems are left unsolved, it'll just snowball to the extent that it'll prove too much for one to handle. And that's when u'll just snap and break down. But, thankfully, a couple of epsiodes had helped me to regain my "sanity" which drove away the pessimism lingering within me. Also, little did I know that ur email has given me the drive to perservere on. And I can see the road laid before me once again =)

Anyway, enough of all these non-sensical stupidity of mine, ha. The first day of new year made me realise the importance of peace and tranquility. It is a usual practice for my family to have a reunion dinner with the paternal side on the first day of new year, at my house. It has always proved to be a BIG headache for me especially after I've bought a drum-set! Not surprisingly, my room was instantly packed with little nephews and nieces who were intrigued by my drum-set and couldn't resist the temptation to try it. It was totally mayhem when six kids tried to beat the drum simultaneously for several minutes (mind you, one minute is enough to shorten ur life-span by at least half!) ha... Thus, I was trapped in my little confined room with 6 kids, each vying to try on the drum, for half-an-hour, with no-one coming to my rescue "=.= It was like a total nightmare for me la! Thankfully, the incessant beatings of the drum did not send the police visiting my house. Headache headache. But, I honestly think that they can form a girl band (coz the kids are all girls "=.=) ha... and I'll just be their manager! =)

Haiz... The day was spent trying to pacify the kids and persuading them to stay away from my beloved drum-set. *heartache arh!* Ha... Anyway, other than that, it was pretty smooth-sailing. Will post the picture up soon!

oblivion

Fear

2007-12-28T13:18:00.000+08:00

When given time for myself, I would always lapse into deep thoughts. And this is something which I honestly hate. For the past one month, I would often find myself woken up in tears and fear, which would ruin my day.

What was I crying for?
What was I fearful of?

There's no answer to it...

I guess that's the reason why I would bury myself amongst the books and start mugging. It just takes my mind off things which I do not want to know, do not want to understand. And, when I'm dead beat, my sleep will be pleasant. Sounds pretty unhealthy though =) I guess I just need a break from everything.

So, I'll be going on a hiatus.

For how long, I honestly don't know the answer :)

oblivion

希望

2007-11-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

此时此刻，我希望心中能够开出一朵灿烂的花朵

oblivion

Coward

2007-11-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

For the past few months, everything seems so surreal to me.
It felt as if I've unknowingly embarked on a journey of oblivion
Afraid of what awaits for me at the end of this journey
Afraid of advancing forward
For every step taken denotes an ominous sign...

I guess I'm just afraid of falling into the bottomless pit again

Sometimes, I just feel that I've totally fucked up my whole life...

oblivion

Absurdity

2007-11-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

At the spur of the moment, I have a sudden urge

To abandon everything that I have at hand

And devote all my time to music

This sounds crazy, absolutely crazy

I guess

It's time to hit the bed...

Hopefully, when the sunlight glides through my windows

This crazy thought would have vanished along with the night...

oblivion

23/10/07

2007-10-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

80%完美的日子 - 陳綺貞

我捕捉精彩的畫面
可是一閉上眼顏色就褪掉了

我穿上最舒適的T恤
可是一脫下來身體都僵硬了

我選擇我最想要的
可是一個人了反而笑開了

我丟棄對我最好的
可是一關上燈全部都回來了

直到有一天
我徹底昏睡了

我太累了我放開了

直到有一天我失去了

太狼狽了眼淚掉下來了

太矛盾了眼淚掉下來了

oblivion

Realisation

2007-10-23T01:21:00.000+08:00

雨，随着微风的呼唤在天空翩翩起舞
让朦胧的夜晚弥漫着无比清新的感觉

那辽阔的夜空是如此迷人、美丽
急促的步伐在无形中逐渐缓慢下来

刹那间，自己呼吸声是如此的清晰
而我也终于感受到自己的存在了。

oblivion

P.S　也许该学会如何走出这虚拟、梦幻的世界了

DRUM!!!

2007-10-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

I'm a happy girl right now

Finally bought a carpet to place under my drum set, to muffle out the sound. To tell the truth, I played less than 10 times since the day it was brought into my room, for fear of the incessant noise it'll produce which will have the cops visiting my house regularly. Thus, sad to say, I din make any remarkable improvement in drumming skills for the past few months. Hence, with the carpet, the noise produced will be muffled and reduced to a reasonable level. To add on, the sound was really fantastic now! ha... Was like a wild beast as I hit on every piece of the percussion in the afternoon. Now I fully understand when my teacher said that I've a wild beast in me "=.=

Yay. My drum set will no longer be abandoned and thrown to one corner of my room to collect dust.

Happy, happy! (sounds a bit retarded though)

the oblivion

7/10/07

2007-10-07T14:03:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back to blogging! ha...

It has been pretty crazy for the past one month. Lots of assignments, tests and I just handed in a 18 page long essay last week. Never in my life have I written that long, not even in mass com (except for group work, yeah =)) Aside from school work, have been trying to spend more time with friends and family. It kinda struck me that whenever school or work starts, my personal life will always get affected. Ha. I think I'm someone who can't multi-task that well, afterall. This is pretty unhealthy for me. Need to get a life! ha... so trying desperately to balance up my life now. Try to persuade me out of mugging at home and go chill out k!! ha

Anyway, yesterday met up with the gals and we watched "Lust, Caution", which turned out to be a pretty good movie though. It has been eons since i watched such artistic film. Ha. I was really blown away for they were able to bring the characters to "life" through their stupendous performance. The inner emotions, feelings, thoughts were all vividly brought out through their little gestures, eye-contacts. One word: Bravo! ha... This movie got me pretty high for quite a while for (1) I sincerely admire people who can act well; (2) the movie was really thought-provoking. It kept u thinking: what was exactly on their minds. There were several scenes in which the two main characters were playing psychological games with each other. Ha. Like the set design, like the art of photography, like the way how the story was scripted. It was indeed a profound and artistic film. =)

oblivion

2/9/07

2007-09-02T15:57:00.000+08:00

=
My precious one week holidays has finally arrived! Horray! Ha... simply can't mask the excitement within me. The last week of school was simply crazy, with another string of surprise tests and endless assignments. Nevertheless, glad that I survived through and kinda enjoyed the process, which I thought was more important. Ha :D

On the other hand, I realised that I have the tendency to fall sick right before the school holidays, which is quite irrinoying (irritating + annoying). I'll be spending most of the days at home, trying to nurse myself back to health, which would always come to naught. For some reasons or another, I don't really like to take medications. First, they will rob away your consciousness and, at the snap of your fingers, you'll be lying on ur bed, sleeping like a log. And there goes your day. Secondly, I don't really like the taste for the medicines are disgustingly sweet for me. And, thirdly, I strongly hold the belief that it'll recover on its own, without any medications, since I'm only down with a cold, cough and headaches. Ha... (The last point seems a bit unconvincing, coz it has been a week since I've fallen sick and there's simply no sign of recovery. )

Despite being sick, still managed to meet up with the nps ppl - yk, sf and casilda. It still remains a mystery how the four of us have come together, amongst so many nps members. I guess this is what ppl called "fate" bahz. Ha. Anyway, we tried the cheese fondue at pizza hut, it was surprisingly nice just that if the cheese was smoother, it'll be perfect! =) After dinner, we hit the arcade. Honestly speaking, I've not been to an arcade for eons. I guess the last time I went was a couple of years ago. It was extremely fun and I realised how sucky I am at all the games and I just kept losing. Ha.

Enough of rattling, I shall end off this entry with a picture of my little nephew, which was taken when he turned one month old.

oblivion

24/8/07

2007-08-25T23:22:00.001+08:00

Uncertain and insecure.

These were the exact feelings inside me, haunting me day and night, since the day I've decided to drift away from the media industry. I still remember the reason for choosing that very course as the passion and love for the media still linger within me.

However, after a long discussion with brother over some controversial issues arising from Campus Superstar, I'm glad I've made the right decision.

oblivion

2007-08-17T11:26:00.000+08:00

This is Issac William Seah Zheng Yu. As i'm typing this name, I've a feeling that he'll grow up to hate his name for it freaking loooooong. Ha... but nonetheless, he's the darling of our family now =)

oblivion

Prettaye!

2007-08-17T10:12:00.000+08:00

The arrival of the long awaited weekend left me in a state of euphoria that I felt I could just kneel down and kiss the ground. Ha... This week had simply been atrocious that it robbed me of my precious sleep! After returning back from Malaysia over the weekend, I was struggling to finish a 10 page essay within hours (something which I used to think was ridiculous, ha). When I thought the worst was over, my dearest lecturer decided to spring us a surprise. "=.=... And the surprise was none other than a series of tests that took everyone's breathe away. Aside from tests, assigments were still given on a regular basis, which had to handed in the next day. So, it was test after test and assignment after assignment. Ha. I honestly think that I've screwed up all three tests badly.

Anyway, on a lighter note, the snorkelling trip in Perhentian Island, Malaysia was really fun despite the very fact that I had to bring my homework over! ha.. Having stayed in a developed city, filled with skyscrapers and man-made natural landscape, throughout my entire life, the experience over at that little island was indeed refreshing for me. ha. The water was kinda crystal clear to the extent that the sea-bed, which was about 300m deep, was visible to your naked eyes. You can see school of fishes swimming around and coral reefs dancing to the waves. Prettaye! Ha... Kinda fell in love with snorkelling. Ha. Oh well, I'll let the following pictures speak a thousand words while I'll rest my badly-battered brain. =)

The resort have 2 types of chalets and this is one of it. At a glance of it, it's as though the resort is located at some snowy place off in Europe. Freakin prettaye!

This is our dining area. As our resort is freaking small, and surrounded by either forests or sea, this is the only place where we can eat to our fills.

On the right, it's the chalet that we stayed in. It looks kinda dilapitated, as compared to the one above, and directly at the back of it is the forest. So, you won't be surprise to find huge spiders crawling around while u're bathing or sleeping. Ha. Nonetheless, its simplicity kinda brings u back to the kampong-era where everything is so simple and primitive. ha.

The beach is really breath-taking - water is crystal clear. They've even installed swings onto the trees! ha... I sound so much like a "country-pumpkin". At night, zillions of stars will be blinking their eyes up in the gorgeous night-sky.

Here we are, ready to embark on a snorkelling trip. The speed boat, as the name suggests, is freaking fast. It feels as if we were travelling in a convertible sports car, and racing on the high-way at 120kn/hr.

This is where our snorkelling experience starts =)

The instructor (the one in dark-blue), is one of the holiday-makers at the resort, who has volunteered themselves for a period of one month, to teach people snorkelling.

Next time, I'll make sure I have a waterproof camera with me to take tons and tons of pix under-sea =)

oblivion

29/7/07

2007-07-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

It has been pretty crazy for the past one week, as everyone was rejoicing at the arrival of my nephew! haha... So, there was a lot of travelling to and fro, which drove everyone to the brink of exhuastion, esp mum. The arrival kinda caught everyone off-guard, as the doctor was speculating my sister-in-law to give birth around mid-august. Ha... So, everything was not bought - milk powder, milk bottles, clothes, diapers etc etc. And it nearly drove mum to nuts as brother kept pestering her to help him out with everything. Anyway, my nephew will be named Issac William (Jr) Seah Zheng Yu. Ha, it's a really freaking loooong name as brother insisted on incorporating his name "William" in it. "=.=... but aside from it, I was extremely pleased with the name, as I was the one who came up with it. Hahaha... =)

On the other hand, school work is kinda driving everyone mad. Ha... our dearest lecturer decided to spring us a surprise by giving a series of tests every day. "=.=... But, the stress is still manageable as compared to the days in poly. =).... Gotta get back to study now.

oblivion

2007-07-22T03:13:00.000+08:00

Basking yourself in the serenity of the night, and enjoying the music playing from the radio, it's kinda easy for one to feel nostalgic again. As I was listening to Josh Groban's You raised me up, it kinda relived the days working at Sakura. It was one of my colleague's favourite song, who is blessed with the most amazing voice. Every morning, his singing would pierce through the tranquility of the restaurant and make everyone stop and listen. Despite his powerful vocal, he is a pretty shy person, who's afraid of making an anouncement before everyone. He would always blush and hide behind someone whenever the manager wanted him to make a speech. Nonetheless, when it comes to slacking, he is always the first. Now, having fulfilled his 6 months of attachment here, he has went back to Philippines with another fellow course mate. Kinda miss both of them though. Ha... Their innocence and immature behaviours make you wanna laugh yet cry at times.

Though it was a pretty short stay, I became really emotionally attached to that place. The days of hysterical laughter, shouting across the restaurants, the tension, the madness and craziness... and a lot more. I like the feeling of having to wake up in the morning, wanting and looking forward to work. There wasn't even a slightest hint of dislike or reluctance. The people there are your motivation and the reason for your stay. Their genuine care and concern for each other simply make it up for everything.

Thank you for making this such a memorable phase in my life. I don't think I'll ever forget anyone of you. =)

oblivion

20/7/07

2007-07-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

It was brought to my realisation that I can't slack anymore, like i did in my poly days, ha... gotta really start working hard. School has been pretty fun this week, though the workload is kinda weighing everyone down. Ha. My group has been the last to leave the library throughout the whole of this week. The poor libririan, who ought to close the lib at 7pm (which lib closes this early!), was held back by us. We finally left when she used her last resort - switch off the lights "=.=...and we had to bring back home our assignments. Ha.

Aside from school work, managed to catch up with a couple of individuals. As I was talking to one of them, it got me thinking wat I'm going to do after 3 years. Apparently, there are 2 routes for me at the moment -

1) Take the bar exams over at UK, be a lawyer at any commonwealth countries and stay there forever,

Or alternatively,

2) Be a legal advisor or counsel in singapore and after 3 years, take the bar exams and be a lawyer in singapore

Oh well... I still have 3 years to think about it. Ha. Hopefully, I'll have an answer by then =)

I have the answer at heart now... =)

oblivion

12/7/07

2007-07-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

First and foremost,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PONG!!!!!!!!!

I'm living and breathing in law every single moment. My hands are seldom off the lecture notes and law books. Also, I'm always one of the last persons to leave the library after school. Ha. Thanks to the extensive research we've got to do for our assignment. "=.= Despite all these, ironically, I'm quite enjoying it. Haha... However, I still can't deny my yearning to go back to mass com, and get my hands on those "magnificent" equipment in the radio and tv studios and admire at the beauty of the finished product. It never fails to give me a sense of satisfaction. Ha. But nonetheless, I'm still enjoying this course for it never fails to amaze me. Oh well, will blog more about it later. Gotta slp now. *snores*

How much do I want this?

oblivion

6/7/07

2007-07-06T14:45:00.000+08:00

I'm freaking high right now, which shouldn't be the case.

The week has finally come to an end. Long hail the weekend. haha... For the past one week, we were given endless of cases to study and analyze. I, a person who still carries a holiday mood to class, struggled to keep up with the pace. I guess it's time for me get down to some serious work, and I should no longer drift away into any lala land. This is a course that really takes up lots of ur time, and every effort of urs counts.

Yesterday, we were given 5 freaking long cases and, as usual, the cases would be dued the next day. Everyone was slogging in the library and vying for that limited collection of books. We've become the regular patrons of the library, and I guess the librarian is kinda sick and tired of seeing our faces already.

Oh well, was trying to work through the night to get the cases done before dawn breaks. However, my biological system refused to compromise. I simply "passed out" before I could finish my work.

The 5 cases really squeezed all the brain juices out of me and left me in a state of complete daze, at the end of it. But ironically, I was kinda enjoying it. The thought of reading some non-sensical cases always thrilled me. Gotta rest my mind now. *faint*

oblivion

2/7/07

2007-07-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

HEY YOU, HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!!!!

Hope u've enjoyed urself today =)

First day of school was pretty cool, though i spent most of the time trying to keep myself awake. The lecturer was really loud, so it did help in keeping me mentally awake. =) However, little did we expect that project would be given at the end of the day. And, it's expected to be ready on the table by the time class starts tmr. As a result, it ruined my plans I had made earlier on. With that pathetic knowledge on Law, the evening was spent slogging in the library, trying to find the assigned cases on Criminal Law to read up and analyze.

At the end of the day, piles and piles of books were stacked up on the study table, as I flipped through them feverishly in an attempt to find the cases. Everything went smoothly with the help from my group mates. =)

On a lighter note, my dream of forming a band is coming closer. Ha. Everything is still the process. =)

oblivion

1/7/07

2007-07-01T21:26:00.000+08:00

I've finally gotten my hands on the book that I've yearned for for god-knows-how-long. It's titled "Life's Golden Ticket". If u enjoy reading Mitch Albom's book, u'll truly fall for this. =)

After which, headed off to YMS to prepare for my first band performance. Yeah! My very first band and, proud to say, I was the drummer =). Ha. Honestly speaking, it was pretty nerve-wrecking for me as I hardly practise due to my laziness. As a result, I screwed up a lot in yesterday's practise. So, to make up for it, I started off the day by forcing myself to listen to the performing piece -"Way Back into Love" - for countless of times. And it did help a lot. =) I guess today's performance is the best amongst all the practises that we had.

On the other hand, this band is rather short-lived one as it was only formed for this performance, organised by our very own music school. So, as fast as it was formed, our band was dismissed right after the performance. Though we were only given less than a couple of weeks to put everything together and to perform, it had been a really pleasant experience for everyone. ;)

Having finished this performance, the next thing that is weighing on my head at this very moment is school! Ha. Wonder how will it be.... hmm....

oblivion

29/6/07

2007-06-30T00:45:00.001+08:00

Finally, it's time for my blog to shed off that layer of dust that has piling up eons ago. *puff*

Following my resignation early this month, I've been bumming around and catching up with my friends, whom I've not seen for ages. And it was brought to my attention that I've been a very busy person. "=.= However, whenever I meet up with my friends, it always feel as if I've just seen them the day before. Ha.

Anyway, next Monday will be the start of another new phase in life for me! It's back to school! "=.= Something that I honestly dread about 'cause

New beginning = self-introduction! (which you'll be expected to do numerous times)

But, aside from this, I'm pretty looking forward to it. And it's going to be long journey for me - 7 years. However, it's definitely not going to be 7 years of plain theory and memorization (which will truly suffocate me to death) Upon completing 3 years of studies, I'll be going to one of the commonwealth countries to practise law for the next 3 years. After which, I'll have to come back to Singapore to study for another 1 more year before I can gain admission to the Singapore Bar.
Hope that everything will run smoothly. =)

oblivion

1/6/07

2007-06-01T22:55:00.001+08:00

Maybe...

At the end of the day,

I'm just another selfish human being...

oblivion

18/5/07

2007-05-18T13:34:00.000+08:00

Simple yet enriching;

Uncouth yet down-to-earth;

Exhausting yet satisfying

I've never felt this way for eons, where words can warm my heart and bring a smile across my face.

I,

simply can't ask for more.

oblivion

26/4/07

2007-04-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

Had been working for the past 11 consecutive days, and to mark my last day at the Singapore Science Centre, I broke a thermometer and a glass wine. Ha. Terrible me.

I'm finally free from all the chemicals (esp the suffocating acetone), washing of beakers and apparatus, dry ice and no more Red Bull (moooo~~~~). YAY!!! :D:D:D Global warming, climate change, you can finally get out of my head! haha...

However, at the same time, I'm really going to miss the people there - the lab assistants (Emily, Amir), the sound technicians (Abdul, Wong), education officers, the temp staff etc etc. I can simply strike up a conversation with anyone of them, esp in the lift. Haha... for some reason or another, I always felt very uncomfortable whenever I'm alone with another stranger (esp ppl from the science centre) in the lift. So, I would just take the initiative to talk to them. As a result of this, I know quite a no. of people from the various departments in the science centre. ha. Weird eh.

And not forgetting my instructor, who has taught me so much about global warming, climate change, Mrs Sharma. She has been a really motherly figure to me. Knowing that I often had to forgo my dinner (as I had rush off to work at Sakura right after knocking off at science centre), she would give my biscuits or bread to eat on my way to Sakura restaurant. I was really moved by this tiny gesture of hers. But at the same time, thanks to her, I've been given a new nickname - Zee. "=.= Ha. Because she has problem pronouncing my name, so I suggested calling the acronyms of my name, ZX. But somehow or another, she started calling my Zee. And words spread very fast and soon, before I realise, everyone started calling me Zee. "=.=.... haha

It had been really a wonderful and enriching learning experience for me. Never in my dreams did I ever thought of teaching primary and secondary school kids. Haha... I guess, within these 3 weeks, I've mingled and socialised with even more people than I've ever had throughout my entire life, from school kids to adults. Haha... Though handling 100++ students at a time can be really tedious, I have to say I find great pleasure in teaching the primary school kids. They're really spontaneous, enthusiastic, adorable, curious about everything single thing under the sun. They are the reason why I look forward to work every day. Haha... I guess I'll really miss the kids. haha... oh well...

As I've been juggling between 2 jobs for the past 3 weeks, with only 2 days of rest in between, my health is deteriorating. I've fallen sick on 2 separate occasions. But thankfully, I'll be having my off day tmr, so gonna make use of it to recuperate and have ample of rest. :D ha

oblivion

15/4/07

2007-04-15T19:12:00.000+08:00

I'm back to blogging again :) hehe

Anyway, I'm currently working as a presenter at the science center, where I have to give a 45 minutes long presentation on Climate Change to primary and secondary school kids. Oh well, presenting in front of 200 kids at a time can be both enjoyable and tiring, as they can be really spontaneous but restless at times. So, I was often drained at the end of the day. As everyone knows, teaching is never in my agenda and science is something way off for me. Haha... so this job is kinda new and challenging for me. But I have to say that I have a bunch of wonderful colleagues. I really love them to the core.

Beside working as a presenter, I'm also working as a part-time waitress at Sakura restaurant located at Clementi Woods :) If u guys are free, can dine in there. hehe... Never did I realise that being a waitress can give me so much sense of satisfaction. haha... a smile and a "thank-you" received from each of the customer simply make my day. Also, my colleagues are both wacky and fun to work with. They're pretty down-to-earth people, who are easily satisfied at the simplest thing that we often overlook in our daily life.

Having to juggle two jobs at one go is both mentally and physically draining, and my old ailment acted up times and again, but the sense of satisfaction derived makes everything worth it. =)

oblivion

24/3/07

2007-03-24T16:26:00.000+08:00

Oh my god! I received a letter from University of Liverpool, again. But this time round, the content kinda freaks me out:

"Congratulations on receiving your offer to study at the University of Liverpool...." and

"We look forward to seeing you in September!"

This really scares me! Coz I seriously have no idea when did I replied them. Also, I have yet to send them my result slip for the last semester, as stated in the conditional offer. Haha... This is pretty nerve-wrecking. And one of their students would be calling me next week! God! Maybe I'll take that opportunity to clear up with the person! haha... Oh dear, but looking on the brighter side, this might be a blessing in disguise. And I might really go over to study to UK by this year or next year. Haha... nah, this is just a wishing on my part.

Hope that can clear up this misunderstanding when the person calls :)

oblivion

15/3/07

2007-03-15T13:00:00.000+08:00

I've been rotting at home since my resignation last Thursday. ha, but I managed to catch up with several individuals whom I've not seen in ages. And it certainly brought back lots of good old memories. =) In the midst of catching up with these old buddies, managed to catch a couple of movies - Pursuit of Happyness and Hannibal Rising.

The first movie was really an inspiring and heart-warming film. True, there wasn't much climax in it, but your heart just felt a pinch whenever the character was faced with one setback after another. Also, the great chemistry between Will Smith and his son added certain charm to the film, making it truly enjoyable. For the latter, I was sort of "coerced" into watching it. I don't mind watching horror films, but films on psychotic people simply sent chills and shivers down my spine. The gory scenes, the gruesome methods of torturing and killings will really turn me off. Ironically, I've been watching quite a no. of films and television shows featuring such psychopaths, which I shall not delve further into it.

Recently, driven nuts by the never-ending boredom, I've decided to start watching the film and reading the books that I've borrowed months ago. I wonder if they've forgotten the existence of their possessions. ha. Horrible me.

Btw, I guess the hottest topic right now is the release of results. Ha. All I can say is that I'm sooo not an engineering student. Ha. Coz for the last semester I took up a module on mobile robotics respectively. Something which I had never dreamt of doing. ha. But, I'm quite pleased with my graduating GPA. Though it's not fantastic, it has certainly hit my expectation. Ask me if you want to knw. =)

oblivion

7/3/07

2007-03-07T11:30:00.000+08:00

This post is gonna be quite random, haha, but it kinda sums up what i've been up to for the past few weeks :D

Have been helping out at my cousin's company for the past few days. Although the job scope was pretty easy (simply packing), it was enough to drive me nuts. Haha... during the course of my three years in poly, my brain has been trained to function 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But now, only my hands are required to do the work. Felt pretty uneasy.

This job may be easy, but the thought of putting my brain into a hibernation mood just kinda put me off. I guess this isn't my cup of tea. ha.

Ystd was supposedly my last day at work, but something "unexpected" happen. It was the earthquake at Sumatra that took everyone by surprise. As a neighboring country, parts of Singapore could feel the tremor. And my working place was one of them. I was in the warehouse looking for something, when suddenly I heard my cousin shouting for me. Then, off we went. Out of the office, out of the building, out into safety. Throughout the entire process, I was quite in daze. Haha, I was pretty clueless about what was happening. Then my cousin was afraid that the building would collapse and suggested having our lunch somewhere "faraway" and drove her car out of the basement immediately. Haha... I didn't know how to react to her "kan cheong-ness". Haha...

So basically, the whole building was evacuated. haha... Frankly speaking, I didn't feel the earth shaking. haha... maybe becoz I was moving constantly, that's y I didn't feel anything. "=.= As a result of this, I wasn't able to finish packing all the products. So yeah, gotta go back tomorrow and finish it up. Oh well, what an exciting day for us. haha.

On a lighter note, I finally had my drum lesson!! haha... it was so eggciting! bwahaha... sorry, couldn't contain my excitement. My drum set will no longer be left sitting at one corner of my room and collecting dust. :D The new drum teacher is pretty awesome too. At least, he doesn't give me the feeling that I'm better off without a drum teacher. ha. And he kept emphasising "Drums is not about playing the beats, but about feeling the music." He turned to me and say again, "Feel the music. " As if afraid that I didn't catch that phrase. haha... it was pretty hilarious though.

But I guess I'm pretty back to a square one, after not playing for several months. Need some time to "feel the music" again. haha

oblivion

Happy Chinese New Year

2007-02-25T13:05:00.000+08:00

This is gonna be a looooong-entry. haha... afterall, haven been blogging for ages (again). haha, so gonna make up for it with this super-duper long entry. So, a word of caution, better go and grab some popcorns or tidbits or make any toilet trips before reading it. At least, it wun bored you to death. :) Oh well, here we go: --- Weeeeeeee~~~~~~

I guess it's a love-hate relationship between Chinese New Year and most Chinese

This special occasion spells the much long-awaited break for some working adults, who have been slogging all year long at work. Therefore, they would take this opportunity to splurge and to indulge themselves in some forms of luxury. Most would choose to travel. This is a smart move, I would say, for it saves them the hassle from having to display their excellent PR-ish skills and entertain their "long-lost" relatives.

Bi nian, avoid celebrating this occasion, may sound ridiculous to some; but to others, who lead a hectic and fast-paced lifestyle, it is a "necessity" for a decent rest/break is very much desired.

This occasion, may indeed, be a good time for some serious catching-up with your relatives. Some of whom you'll only get to see once a year. However, the long absence of all these relatives has gradually built a wall between you and them. No matter how hard you try to break through this wall, you'll still unable to catch up with the time lost. As a result, conversations would often end up in an awkward silence. People would be fidgeting in their seats or looking everywhere, except at the person who's sitting right beside/in front of you. That's what I've noticed.

But, of course, this doesn't occur to everyone.

Like the past few year, my Chinese New Year hasn't been marvelous nor dreadful. It has been the same old routine - First day was spent with over 30 over relatives from my dad's side, who were desperately trying to cramp into our humble 4-room flat. All our rooms were packed with streams of relatives. For instance, my brother's room turned into a mini cinema for my little nieces and nephews, who were singing joyously to the Disney's songs. After some time, they "marched" to my room and converted it into a music room - where my drum-set and violin were "assaulted" by them. Instantly, they evolved from pop-star-wannabe to rock-star-wannabe. They were happily beating on my drum-set and playing on my violin, completely indulging in their own world. I can visualize them forming a band themselves. Haha, it was quite a funny sight though.

On the other hand, the adults were indulging themselves in some decent wines. My dad opened 4 bottles of wines at one-go. It seemed as if he was trying to get rid of these old wines so that new ones would come in. "=.=... In a bid to stop my dad from drinking any further, my brother and I ended up drinking these wines. "=.=

The third day was dedicated to my mum's side, where 60 over relatives turned up at a function room in one of my cousin's condominium. The sight of seeing so many people at one-go ,inevitably, turned me off. Coz you don't know where to start from, who to approach. Streams of people just kept flowing into the function room. Oh well, if you think that 60 over relatives are considered a lot, then you're wrong. More than hundreds were expected to turn up, which has been the case for the past few years. However, some had went overseas to work or to travel, so yeah...

The fifth day, met up with rl, lw, sm and br. This time round, everyone was late except for lw (MIRACLE!!) haha... I guess the disease has finally caught up with everyone. Asides from having Japanese cuisine, we headed for a Korean movie - Seducing Mr Perfect. By inferring from the movie title, I guess you can gauge the type of movie it is. Oh yeah, to mark off the day, I'm going back to my drum lesson! It'll officially commence next week! haha... This is so exciting! It'll be my first lesson in the past one year :D *jumping around in joy* Wheeeee~~~~~~~~ Though I have to start from scratch all over again, but who cares! haha... Wheeee~~~~~~~~~

So yeah... basically, that's all for my Chinese New Year. :) Last but not least,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR FOR ALL!!! =)

oblivion

Your feign ignorance, your feign smile have greatly gotten into me. But after pondering for a period of time, I've decided to give up to curb more pain and misery from falling. I realized "it" doesn't matter anymore...

5/2/07

2007-02-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

I've wasted yet another day sleeping in. I have seriously have to refrain myself from all the distractions at home. But the bed just seems to be beckoning me over all the time and that shall be it! haha... Guess i'll have to study out tmr, haiz...

Btw, today's Gensheng's birthday! Happy 20th birthday, boy! 1 more year to adulthood! haha... Met up with ty, br, sm and rl to celebrate his birthday at sakae sushi. I've finally satisfied my craving for sushi, after what seemed like ages to me. haha... Anyway, Gensheng was pretty touched and shocked to receive our presents. Upon reading the birthday card we gave him, he became very poetic.

"Gan chu liang duo...."

haha... I've never heard anyone saying this phrase for eons. Also, this phrase was usually used in our composition back in the secondary school days. haha... very cute. So, to mark this memorable day, he was "forced" to write down that phrase in the birthday card and signed off with his name, date, time, place and table no. haha...

Asides from this celebration, I guess I've wasted the day sleeping. haha... Need to be more productive. 10 more days to go =)

oblivion

4/1/07

2007-02-04T01:07:00.000+08:00

I'm back to blogging again. Haha... I guess most of you must be wondering what I've been up to for the past few weeks. Well, I'm proud to say that I've finally completed all 3 years of horrendous projects and assignments. So, I'm sorta unofficially done with school. Haha... left with 2 more papers and it'll be "sayonara" :D

haha... last friday marked the last day of school for most of us as we cleared all our "debts". Ended the day with the last presentation. It went smoothly despite the fact that my group only discussed about it the night before. haha... thinking back now, I did several impromptu presentations for this semester and sat for tests that I never studied for. They were all unrehearsed due to last minute preparation. Haha... but everything still end on a good note at the end of the day. Nonetheless, year 3 is the most enjoyable and fruitful year for me.

Lime, The UrbanWire, Tribune, Hype, Hyper, Shaoxin Travelogue, Penang trip, NPS, SAG...

I've gained numerous invaluable experiences within just one year, though I've to admit that it wasn't really all smooth-sailing for me. I cherished all the time spent with the people whom I've worked with and who have accompanied throughout this entire year. If not for all of you, I guess I won't be able to be at where I am now. A big THANKS to all of you =)

-----------------------------------------------------------

I always thought that the last day of school won't mean anything to me.

But, I was wrong.

Never did I realise that it would be hard for me to bid goodbye to Mr Kwek... From attachment till now, no words can express my gratification for him for all the invaluable lessons he had given me. Thank you.

----------------------------------------------------------

Received partial of my LNAT (law national admission test) result last monday. Though my brother is pretty confident that I'll be able to get into the university that I desired, I beg to differ. In fact, I've sorta of given up on it. I find it meaningless to pin your hope on something that is near impossible... I did not even know what prompted me to take up this path...

Feeling lost all of a sudden

oblivion

13/1/07

2007-01-14T01:47:00.000+08:00

This week has totally left me mentally exhausted. All my brain cells were killed with an endless stream of tests and thought-provoking questions, every single day. Anyway, I'm pretty glad that I had ample rest. :)

Human-to-human relationship never fails to intrigue me and leave me pondering - How great its impact is on a person? How one's mood can be easily affected or swayed by it? All these just seem to reflect the vulnerability of human beings before this human-to-human relationship.

There're ups and downs in each relationship (be it between friends, family members or any of your loved ones). It leaves people weary, depressing and angst; but it also leaves people elated, hopeful and lively.

Problems are inevitable between anyone; they reflect the relationship or rather the bond shared between the two parties. However, I was simply appalled me at how easy it is for one to say it's the end of yet another relationship... But, why does the facial expression tells otherwise when these were said. Why can't one display the same calamity like how the words came out of their mouth? Maybe they were faced with dilemma; maybe the words were said on impulse; maybe they were left with no choice...

Endless of "maybe", endless of reasons, endless of excuses to mask the guilt...

Human relationship is simply so fascinating. There's always endless surprises to it that it seems beyond what one can control...

oblivion

5/1/07

2007-01-05T05:33:00.000+08:00

OMG! haha... I din realise that I've not blogged for ages. haha...

Anyway, the Penang trip was indeed a fruitful and memorable one. I'm proud to say that we managed to pull through all the hurdles and put up 2 stupendous performances. haha.. it seems like nothing can put us down if we unite. Thanks for everything and love ya all =)

Oh well, right now, everything resumes after school has re-opened. It shall be another endless stream of projects, tests and assignments. Jia you bahz, everyone :) Anyway, I've been feeling quite poetic nowadays and came up with another random one to describe the performances we put up in Penang. Haha... enjoy :)

谢幕之时
我们踏上了一个
共属我们的舞台

站在上面
观众如雷般的掌声
淹没了我们的声音
时间仿佛停止流动
让我们各各沉浸在
这高潮的气氛之中

灯光四射
让站在台上的我们
顿时变成闪耀巨星
成为照耀那晚夜空
的一颗颗明亮星星
似乎象征了我们那
不认输的顽强心态

短暂的夜
为我们每一个人
编写了辉煌的史记

这美丽的学习之旅
虽已在那一夜结束
但它将会永垂不朽
伴随在你我的身边

oblivion

27/11/06

2006-11-27T14:27:00.000+08:00

It has been nearly a month since my last entry was up. Haha, I guess everyone can reckon that I was busy with my school work and activities. The Annual Performance (AP) really took up loads of our time, but I'm glad that everything paid off in the end. I'm really proud of everyone, esp the juniors, who were able to endure through this tedious and long journey and put up such stupendous performance last saturday. Bravo! *Applause*, hehe... Right now, take a good rest before we embark on another journey - The Penang trip. :D Nonetheless, good job everyone :D

For the past one month, besides coping msyself with the AP, I found myself travelling to the east side more frequently. haha... radio is indeed killing me. :D haha, although it's tiring having to return home in the wee hours of the day, I found myself enjoying the entire process. :) I'm pretty glad that radio is the only module, at the moment, that is taking up loads of time due to the short deadlines assigned to each capsule.

Oh yeah, before I forgot, I wanna thanks all those who remembered my birthday. Although the "thank-you" note came in a bit late, haha, I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. As what we always say, it's the thought that counts. :)

oblivion

I was completely oblivious to what's happening until you told me... what you've said is comepletely true... I guess I've been avoiding the problem for too long, it's time for me to do something. N I do need a break...

28/10/06

2006-10-28T22:04:00.000+08:00

Decided to rip a poem off from my diary. Just another random poem that I came up with:

乌云随着狂风在天空迅速地飘逸着
迅速得让人捉摸不定
这个瞬息万变的场景
粉碎了那永恒的假象

叶子随着狂风被迫脱离熟悉的环境
被迫离开群众与依靠
被迫与孤独结交朋友
在陌生的环境鼓舞着

童话般的故事情节从未出现过
它的存在带给了人们虚假的希望
让人暂时逃离这残酷的现实生活
陶醉在一个属于自己美丽的世界

oblivion

22/9/06

2006-10-22T12:01:00.000+08:00

Just realised that I've not blogged in ages. Haha..

School has never re-opened for me despite having attended a week of lessons. That's becoz there was no school holidays to begin with. Haha, I've been going back to school almost every single day for the past 2 months right after my attachment. Although it was tedious and tiring, my biological system has to such lifestyle. Therefore, on the first day of school, I wasn't suffering from any monday blues or rather "school blues" (wonder if such words ever exist, haha...) I was completely numb. :D

I'm quite satisfied with the electives I've chosen so far, and the people whom I'll be working with for future projects or anything. :D Although I can foresee that adv radio production will drain all the energy out of me. Documentary production is fun, so is presentation skills in chinese. :D In conclusion, I love all my electives!

I stayed overnight in school on Friday to finish the voice-overs for the china trip. So some of them brought their sleeping bags over to slp on. haha... quite cute and funny. Everyone was thoroughly exhuasted the next day, we left at 8pm before we could finish everything. I was completely drained by the time I reached home, and headed to slp right after having my dinner. Haha... wat an unhealthy lifestyle that I'm leading now. Oh well, I woke up to horror this morning to see both my eyes swollen from the lack of sleep. Haha... I could barely see anything. Anyway, I guess that's all for week 1. I believed more will come, but ironically, I'm quite looking forward to it. Hope everything will end on a good note

oblivion

10/9/06

2006-10-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the first time the rough cuts for the documentary was presented. With more than 20 ppl watching images of you on the big screen can be quite embarrassing, esp when un-glam shots were shown. Haha... but it was quite cool and everyone was impressed by the quality of work produced by the CTV team! *applause* :D However, on my side, I have to re-do all the voice-overs. I have to admit that my voice lacks energy. So dun be surprise when you see me getting hype up all of a sudden. haha... "=.=

A tinge of anguish and remorse could be sensed:
Anguish for the irrevocable change that the past has caused;
Remorse for the pain that has been brought on to others

The past may be forgotten
Memories may be erased
But blemishes will still remain

oblivion

8/10/06

2006-10-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

Had loads of fun last friday, as for the first time, everyone gathered at Ty's house to spring a birthday surprise for liwei birthday. At the same time, we also celebrated the mid-autumn festical. The ppl who went there were me, sinmay, the birthday girl, beiru, rongluan, tingyi, 2 of ty's frenz, huda, gensheng, kok siong, junsheng, sock ruan and her cute little baby girl, janice. So it was a rare and BIG reunion for everyone of us. Happy happy. haha...

Since the day we graduated from our secondary school, we were all busy with our school work and things, esp me and sock ruan, the only two ppl who chose a different route from the others.

After the birthday surprise, which caught lw off-guard, we headed to a nearby park to celebrate the festival till midnight and take loads of pictures. It had been ages since I had this much of fun. It felt as if I was back to the old secondary school days, where nothing could put us down... Love everyone of them dearly :D and hope we can catch up with each other soon again. :D hehe...

oblivion

5/9/06

2006-10-05T23:29:00.000+08:00

Have decided to sum up my entire day in point-form:

1) Everything went smoothly for the post-production and we've finished 3 episodes. 4 more to go. Hooray!

2) Went to NPS to play several pieces from the Suzuki book with Shu Fang. haha... i guess i can never get enough of violin :D Anyway, I was really amazed with the concept the committee came up with for this year's music camp. Frankly speaking, it was really creative and refreshing. They've really put in a lot of effort and they earned my admiration. Really. :)

3) Left shortly for SAG, where everyone came up with a solid and good story line for the AP. :D

4) Took ard 1hr 20mins to reach home, and met Jeff on the way home.

That shld be all! hehe...

oblivion

4/9/06

2006-10-04T17:47:00.000+08:00

Only one word came into my mind after watching Thunderstorm. Brilliant! haha... I was completely blown away by the casts' stupendous performance, esp Fan Yi's role. As most people who know abt this play, everything happened within a single day. Therefore, it was a great challenge for any artiste involved in this play, as the characters' emotions varied between the 2 extremes at the start and at the end.

I was completely swept off my feet when Yeo Yannyann appeared. Her stage presence could be sensed immediately from afar. I would say that her character is one of the most challenging to portray. The series of events, which unfolded as the story progressed, evoked the internal struggle that the character had put up with for the past decades. In the end, the character went kaput. It amazed me at how the artiste was able to portray all these struggles faced by the character vividly.

A few years back, when Thunderstorm was staged in Singapore, this character was played by my ex-drama teacher. However, I gave it a miss as I was too caught up with school work. Surprisingly, this play brought back memories of my drama teacher and I realised how much I really miss her. Although I was very young when under her, she's the only drama teacher that left me the deepest impression amongst all. The amount of dedication and passion she had for drama, earned my respect and adoration. She was also the reason why I'm still in drama. I would have continued drama at PPAS if she didn't leave. If given an opportunity, I would love to learn from her again.

oblivion

30/9/06

2006-09-30T04:13:00.000+08:00

I've never considered myself charming nor successful nor intelligent. In fact, I've nothing for anyone to feel jealous or envious about. This is not an act of humble nor a sign of inconfidence.

I've indeed won numerous "battles", but in the process I've lost and sacrificed a lot. Being stubborn did reap success and prove one's determination, but a question will haunt one at the end of every other day: "Are you happy with the life you're leading now?" or rather "What are you trying to prove when you're not happy with what you're doing?"

oblivion

26/9/06

2006-09-26T14:32:00.000+08:00

No more morning calls, no more morning vouchers...

Everything is back to reality, back to normal. It seems as if everything was nothing but a dream to me. A pleasant dream or a nightmare? I don't know but it has indeed become a part of my life, deeply etched in my memory. Although filming drained the energy out of everyone and left us with little time on our own, it had been a rather more enriching and eye-opening experience for me. Due to our project, I had to communicate with several individuals, taste their local delicacies and various Shaoxin wines, learn their history and appreciate their culture... As a result, I was able to blend into their culture and to witness and understand the livelihood of the people there. I would love to go back there again for there's a lot more yet to be explored...

经一事，长一智，未尝不是件好事，但时间久了，渐渐地开始对身边的一切感到反感，而最终选择了逃避。。。

oblivion

26/9/06

2006-09-26T01:06:00.000+08:00

一切都已化成了回忆伴随着我，就有如从梦中惊醒过来。
是一场甜美的梦还是一场恶梦？我不知道，但这场梦已成为我成长过程中的一部分。

说实话，回到新加坡后，感觉变得很奇怪。一切恢复了原状，而这次的旅程也似乎从未发生过。
我不希望这回忆会被时间冲淡，我更不希望我们每个人的友谊就到此结束。但愿有一天，我们能够再次前往异国拍摄。

事情看得越多、经历得越多，固然能助一个人成长。
但与此同时，这也会让一个人对身边的一切感到厌倦、烦躁而最终选择了逃避。。。

oblivion

25/9/06

2006-09-25T12:46:00.000+08:00

两个礼拜的时间说长不长，说短又不短，但却足以让每个人之间产生了浓厚的友谊，尤其是那四位积极参与我们拍摄过程的中国朋友。经常听到别人说：中国人的思想很复杂、很保守，但他们四人完全粉碎了这个印象，甚至让我们觉得我们的思维比他们更保守。尤其张博，他是个思想简单但兼具很好领导能力。对于我们拍摄组，他充当了导游、哥哥、领导者以及朋友的角色。他对中国的认识了如指掌，因此在绍兴拍摄的过程中，他的贡献是有目共睹的。我敢说，若没有他，这个旅程将充满无数的风波与挫折。在离开中国的那一天，我们们都带着沉重的心情离去。

拍摄固然进行得蛮顺利，但若是说到人际关系。。。可以说是搞得一团乱。而这也彻底改变了我对一些事情的看法。。。

oblivion

7/9/06

2006-09-07T22:44:00.000+08:00

I'll be leaving for China on Saturday night. Although I'll be going there to work on a film production and a couple of seminars, I'll ensure that I make full use of my stay there. To prepare for the China trip, I had to buy another 4 sets of clothings, cosmetics and contact lenses for the filming. That means spending more money. :( Anyway, I've not pampared myself with anything for a period of time, so this signifies a great opporunity to indulge myself in shopping.

There're a few ppl whom I'm really grateful. Never did I expect that my Trimedia gang and would buy something for me before I leave for China, as a form of motivation. Their little gestures touched me deeply, esp CH. Thanks! I love all of you. :D haha... I hope that it'll be a fruitful trip and would try my best not to disappoint anyone. :)

oblivion

What has really happened?
There's no answer to it
For I don't know who I really am
I guess I've lost myself...

5/9/06

2006-09-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

Why does it take me 10 years to realise it? I don't know.

From this very moment, I shall work really hard to make up for it as time is running out. :)

oblivion

3/9/06

2006-09-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

Hmm... I don't know what got into me, I hate to talk abt school and work nowadays. Whenever my parents raised questions regarding this 2 issues, I'll become extremely annoyed and irritated. I'll brush them off by saying, "I don't know" and I'll walk off. Mum has been rather sensitive to these 2 issues and will only ask when I initiate the topic. My heart will always be stung by that tinge of guilt whenever I brushed them off with my crude behaviour. There's so much that I want to tell them, but i did not. I don't know why.

And I seriously have no idea what got into me today, I locked myself in the room; started playing my violin for more than 3 hours... and I almost teared. I guess I seriously need a break.

oblivion

30/8/06

2006-08-30T19:26:00.000+08:00

A question that is still waiting to be answered
A question that needs to be thought out carefully
For the answer may change things forever

My heart is bleeding badly at my refusal to shed a single tear. A promise that I've made to myself since the start of my attachment, but was broken last week. However, I shall still hold on to this promise.

4 more days to the answer

oblivion

26/6/06

2006-08-26T19:25:00.000+08:00

My job officially ended on Friday after working for merely one week plus. :) Although it was a short period of time, I developed a feeling for the people there and the place. I really felt a sense of belonging there and would love to continue, despite the shitty workload I had to face. However, as I have to go back to school every day starting from monday, it makes it impossible for me to continue this job.

Anyway, I finally caught up with WX today since last May. However, I was experiencing a mixture of feeling before meeting him. I was afraid that the friendship we shared had faded away, and what left would be pure awkwardness. However, my worries was unfounded when I saw him. The sense of familarity was still there and we were able to crap like before. :) However, he seemed to have aged over the past one year.

He brought me to a fine restaurant inside Inter-continental Hotel where we shared a slice of Chocolate Royalty cake. It was one of the best cakes I've ever tried before. The chocolate was smooth and rich, and its hazelnut base was simply crunchy and delicious. However, the prices of the beverages were atrocious. A glass of sprite or coke costs $7.50. We were simply speechless and settled for a cup of coffee each.

It was a pretty nice chat session with him. Despite being 1 year older than me, his maturity and wisdom earn my admiration and respect. He had his future planned and had even bought an insurance for himself "=.=. No wonder I was once attracted to him and; had developed a feeling for him. He was the first person gave me the sense of security that I needed. Ironically, I never foresee myself getting attached to him.

At this very moment, what I have is pure admiration for his maturity and wisdom and nothing else. I'm pretty glad that he has found his other half and I wish him and his girlfriend well. :)

After hanging around at Bugis Junction for a short while, we parted our ways. Initially, I wanted to meet up with either CH or CY, however, I decided to back out last minute as I sprained my left foot and hurt like mad. :( Hope that the pain will go away asap.

oblivion

17/8/06

2006-08-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

人的善与恶趋走了世上的黑与白
将它们化成了灰色地带。
靠着一双“活力十足”的嘴唇，
就能够颠倒是非、玩弄公理。

事情的真相我已不再理会了，也不愿再追究，因为我已经很疲倦了。

oblivion

5/8/06

2006-08-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

There are a few people who are seriously getting on my nerves, which I shall not delve further into it.

The "Look Good, Feel Good" bazaar organised by us was really a disappointment. Stalls from established companies, free drinks, free vouchers, everything, but there was only slightly more than a 100 ppl at the bazaar. Some stalls did not even manage to make any sales. We put in our heart and soul in this bazaar and the turnout was a real big disappointment.

Not to mention, I was damn disappointed in the MC (who ran away with her "bf" half-way through the bazaar). She was being too over-confident in her hosting skills that she came unprepared. Everyone, including me, was really annoyed with her. She did nothing for this bazaar but to flirt around. I admit that she makes a great host but her over-confidence will definitely not bring her far.

Anyway, to something more chirpy. I'll be getting a drum set next week!!! yay!!! I'm so elated! Haha, i shall spend the entire holidays drilling on my drum-ming skills. :D

oblivion

5/8/06

2006-08-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

I share the sentiments with Huijun regarding the Tribune thing. 3 lecturers looked through that freaking article, n all 3 were satisfied with it. Does that mean that all 3 of them aren't as good as CY? Maybe. I don't know. I understand that she possesses both the experience and the knowledge, but my confidence was greatly shattered when Huijun broke the news to me. Throughout my entire internship, this hit me really hard.

Altough CY agreed to help out with Tribune, I can sense the reluctance in her. Maybe becoz it isn't handled by her students. I don't know. I still remember vividly when I approached her with a few articles to edit. My heart literally sank when she said, "Huh? Still got so many articles ar?" To you, it may mean nothing. But to me, I felt I've added on to her workload. I was already feeling very bad and guilty for having to trouble them with my articles. That statement made me felt even worse. In the end, it took her more than 2 weeks to edit. In addition, out of the 4 articles given to her, only 1 was returned back.

At that point of time, I felt really discouraged. That was part of the reason why I never look for CY again to edit my articles, despite the fact that she may be a lot better (according to ah y "=.=)

oblivion

30/7/06

2006-07-30T17:43:00.000+08:00

I rebonded my hair yesterday and had the most retarded haircut ever. I can't help laughing throughout the entire procedure. haha... It was quite hilarious. I guess this is a good start for me. :) A retarded new hairstyle symbolises a retarded new beginning. Haha, it does make sense :D

It was really sweet of my cousin to take out her precious weekend to accompany me to the saloon. She brought her entire familywith her, coz it was supposed to be a family day. Felt so guilty. I spent more than 3 hours in the saloon, reading up magazine and laughing at my retarded haircut occassionally. Haha, I bet the hairstylist must have thought that I was as retarded as my haircut. That's me! *pointing the finger at myself* haha...

Met up with scorpion partner and chaorui right after my haircut. Haha... they were examining my new haircut and giving me those kind of u-look-retarded look. It was really fun meeting up with the again. And Chaorui started his own philosophy again. It was quite an enriching and thought-provoking session. Bascially, we spent the remaining afternoon looking up for books at kinokuniya and the library. Quite weird eh?

When I reached home, my brother was giving me the same old you-look-retarded look and shaking his head in disbelief. When my parents reached home, both had extreme reactions. My dad burst out into laughters, whereas my mum exclaimed in excitement. "=.= haha... my dad insisted that I look funny whereas my mum beg to differ. It was very funny as they tried to state their stand firm. C'mon, it's juz a retarded haircut?! haha...

Oh well, I bet everyone will share the same sentiment upon seeing me. So, let's juz wait. hehe

oblivion

thank you

2006-07-28T13:32:00.000+08:00

Thanks alarm clock for buying this mth's lime mag, I'm really touched by ur little gesture. It certainly means a lot to me. Thanks! :D

oblivion

27/6/06

2006-07-27T14:48:00.000+08:00

I don't like to explain for my own actions unless necessary. To me, the more u explain the more u seem like finiding excuses for ur own actions, yue miao yue hei. Sometimes, the consequences may not turn out expectedly. I give no damn about how others think or say abt me, as they have their own will to say anything. :) I won't break down nor would I shield myself from any crude remarks, if i feel that i did not do anything wrong, so be it. :)

Yesterday's filming was quite okay. There's always room for improvement though. Maybe I was quite tired, I didn't bother to mask my displeasure. But it was indeed an eye-opening experience for me, afterall, it was my first time. We waited for 3-4 hours. It was quite a waste of time though, so maybe u can bring something there to do while waiting for the time to pass. :)

oblivion

26/7/06

2006-07-26T11:38:00.000+08:00

Met up with Shahidah yesterday coz she's leaving for New York today for 2 weeks for a convention. So cool!

Whenever we meet up, we always ended up talking non-stop and walking aimlessly around the shopping mall. :D Looking forward to wat surprise she'll bring for me when she comes back from New York. :D Take care. Will miss you greatly!

oblivion

25/7/06

2006-07-25T13:02:00.000+08:00

haha... xun zhong yao qiu, I've decided to blog a decent entry. haha... never expect myself to be so popular :D

Last Saturday was the first time I had a decent shopping trip at orchard road with huijun and shiya (unfortunately). It started off with huijun asking me along to interview some bikers or skaters at the underground area btw esplanade and citylink. Being the nice person, as usual, I agreed to it without a hint of hesistation. :D N I pulled shiya along as I wanted to accompany her to collect her shoes from some shop in Far East. :D I've done 2 good deeds within one day, aren't I wonderful? haha...

To start off with, I was late for the "date" again. haha... I wonder when can I ever kick off this bad habit. After meeting up with Huijun, we headed to the basement in near esplanade. When we reached there, horror of all horrors, there was hardly anyone there except. haha... it was quite hilarious. So we decided to hang around and wait for shiya, in hope that more ppl will come during this period of time.

Shiya came after ard 20 minutes, we headed back and managed to conduct an interview with some dancers and a biker. Quite a cool experience. :D

Throughout the entire day , i had a great time suan-ing shiya and I realised that she's borned with a blur look, n her mouth is always opened when she's stoning - enhancing her blur look even more. haha... Initially, we wanted to collect shiya's shoes from far eat, however, the manager wasn't around and the sales girl knew nothing abt it. So it was a futile trip. Haiz... haha.. so we ended up hanging around in Orchard road.

It had been ages since I did some serious window shopping. So I was experiencing fainitng spells throughout the entire shopping experience. The lights and the crowd made me nauseus. Looks like my stamina isn't as good as before. So sad...

To end off the day, after parting with shiya and huijun. I took a 30 minutes walk to Tanglin mall from far east, coz the sight of a crowded bus put me off. So i decided to head down to the bus-stop to take 75 instead of 190. This has proven to be a wise choice, as the bus wasn't as crowded. :D I'm so clever. haha...

oblivion

25/7/06

2006-07-25T10:30:00.000+08:00

Something extremely disturbing happened yesterday evening, which left me in a state of confusion. Everything happened so fast that I nearly broke down into tears. Even on my way back to school for my cca, images of it flooded my mind. It bothered me the whole of last night. I guess it's time for me to take a good break for too many things have happened this month...

oblivion

24/6/06

2006-07-24T00:11:00.000+08:00

Just realised I've not blogged for ages. Oh well, nothing much has happened for the past few days, or rather I find it a chore to recollect on the past events. With Hype and Tribune done, I can sort of heave a sigh of relieve, although I still have to take care of urban wire.

Many things happened during this short span of 4 months, that resulted a change in me. I wasn't aware of the route I was heading to; I wasn't aware of the fact that I was nearing the edge... and if I were to continue this route, it will lead to no return.

oblivion

9/7/06

2006-07-09T19:05:00.000+08:00

I miss Hong Kong greatly.

It may sound strange and random but this is the first time I felt so emotionally attached to a country, despite my very short stay there. Although 1 year has passed, I still dream about waking up to the skyscrapers and breath-taking scenary in Hong Kong. I love everything about HK, the culture, the food, the people etc etc...

I yearn to go there again. If possible, I don't mind stduying in their arts school for a couple of years and brush up on my Canto. :) Love Hong Kong deeply.

oblivion

Silly me

2006-07-09T18:30:00.000+08:00

Looking back, I felt rather perplexed with the "emotional turbulence" I've had exeperienced for the past few days. I've cleanly forgotten what triggered those emotional posts that I've written. Reading back those posts, I felt rather silly. Haha... I guess things seem more simplier when you look at the big picture, as compared to being absorbed in what you've doing.

There are indeed times when you felt as if you've fallen to the bottom of a pit, where hopes seem slim. However, little did you know that hopes are lying all around you, if you could calm down and pay close attention to the surrounding. Maybe the past events were sheer panic strikes, teaching me how to handle such problems and not to fall victim of yet another circumstance.

We learn new things every day, don't we?

Having studied this course for a couple of years, I dare not say that I've made the wrong choice for I've learnt a lot in the process. I may not be able to excel in this course (due to my laid-back lifetstlyle and procrastination), it moulds me to become a stronger person. Maybe that's why Ms Leng let me through the interview even though I was on the verge of crying, at that point of time. I remembered her saying that, I would get pushed around in the real working world with the type of characteristics that I possess (at that time). It maybe true at that moment, but this belief has gradually faded away in my mind.

Right now, I'm waiting to embark on a trip to I've-yet-to-decide destination upon the end of my attachment. I guess it's time for me to broaden my vision and to have a really good rest before the new semester starts.

oblivion

6/7/06

2006-07-05T11:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's performance may not be the best we've ever had, but it was certainly best "party" we had so far. And that I love everyone of them and TIGER BEER! :)

Thanks for everyone's concern, but i guess when it comes to such problem, nobody can help me but myself. There's just this inferior feeling that's lingering inside me, which i doubt i can never get rid of.

At least for now, I find solace in my most beloved violin which keeps me going... I may not be the best violinst, I may not be able to create the most beautiful melody through it. But, through it, I have the courage to reveal who i really am deep inside...

oblivion

Lost...

2006-07-04T12:36:00.000+08:00

Yihan did a tarot reading for me yesterday with regards to my attachment. The first few cards were amazingly true. There were a few lines which I thought was rather thought provoking - "You're carrying too much burden and they are wearing you down. You feel lost and sometimes, yo're simply not yourself.... and you HATE your current job."

I was taken aback by what he said. I never expect tarot cards to have the ability to read out what I was thinking. I've been trying desperately to conceal all my feelings through the mask that I wear. However, the real me has gradually been replaced in the process. Sometimes, I became confused as to who I really am. What kind of person am I?

As I've mentioned to CH, I don't like to reveal the weak side of me to anyone. I refuse to collapse in front of anyone. I refuse to drop any tears. All along I've been putting up a brave front, assuring everyone that I'm alright and I'm optimistic to everything that's happening around me. I refuse to tell anyone that I felt lost and helpless at times... I do not want anyone to see the pathetic side of me...

All I can say is that I can't be the real angel that I used to be...

oblivion

2/7/06

2006-07-03T00:27:00.000+08:00

Get lost!
Get away from from me!
Funkuro!
Angst I might be,
But this is me
The real me

oblivion

2/7/06

2006-07-02T18:49:00.000+08:00

When I saw my article published in one of the local magazines, I wasn't jumping in joy nor was I ecstatic about it. Instead, it took an unexpected turn. There was a mixture of feelings inside me which made me felt utterly disgusted and shameless. Now, I truly believe that journalisn isn't my cup of tea...

oblivion

26/6/06

2006-06-26T02:56:00.000+08:00

It's nearly 3 in the morning, and I'm feeling as awake as before. I guess Jun-mei has passed me her insomnia to me. Anyway, I doubt I'll be able to catch any sleep with the amount of workload I have now.

Btw, my lappie has officially "passed away" yesterday. She's only 2 years old.
Your utmost effort in easing my life shall not be forgotten. May you find eternal happiness in heaven.

I seriously have no idea how I'm going off to work later without my lappie. It's almost mission impossible for a journalist. What can i do? But to wait again...

oblivion

25/6/06

2006-06-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

Running away from reality
Running away from frustrations
Running away from responsibilities
Running away from the arrogance
Running away from the "debtors"

Running away from everything
And let darkness embrace me
Cuddling myself up in a corner
Trembling in cold with a "naked" self
Revealing the sight that no one has seen before
Overwhelmed with sudden fear and loneliness
The eyes which were once shining with confidence
Were now brimming with tears

Everything seems so delusive
Everything seems like an illusion
Reality is brought to my very eyes
Through this mask that i wear
Day by day,
Bit by bit,
It's robbing away my innoncence
Taking away my other half
Consuming away who I really am deep inside
I do not want to be part of this illusion
I do not want to be disingenuous
I want to rip off this "mask"
To reveal who i really am...

oblivion

24/6/06

2006-06-24T21:29:00.000+08:00

Once again, i've come to a point where I've decided to lock myself up in my own world; I don't give a damn with what's happening around me; I don't want to put on a smiley mask and be someone else; Ironically, I don't want that "naked" and shameless feeling to linger around me and pretended as if I don't care.

All I want is peace and silence and be myself...

Back to something more cheerful:

Monday (19/6/06)

I'm proud to annouce that the camp officially start today! haha... but horror of all horrors, I woke up to find myself lying beside a "lioness" all night. I guess everyone knows who the "lioness" is. Nonetheless, it was rather entertaining to see xixilia's hair turning into a lioness' mane within one night. I believed everyone shares the same sentiment as me :).

The camp started off with body stretching exercise conducted by lao shi's daughter, Shirley. I thought Shirley carried off herself well and there was something about her that would make her stand out of the crowd. Anyway, as I've not exercised for ages, I could vividly hear my bones "cracking" while doing all those stretching. But, i must make myself loud and clear, the "cracking sound" was not the result of my "increasing" age.

It was a "torturous" experience for me, but i certainly enjoyed it. I love the feeling of having drops of perspiration rolling down my cheeks. It's simply refreshing and makes u feel revitalised again. haha... After having burnt out all the calories and fats during the light workout, we were forced to "consume" them again with our "oily" lunch.

I shall keep my entry short by summarising events that happened on that day. After the lunch, it was another entertaining script-writing lesson with lao shi. With the current world cup sensation going around us, we had to come up with ideas associating with it. All groups came up with creative and hilarious story plots, which was enough to drive all the "sleeping bugs" that were ttying to invade our conscious mind. Right after the lesson, it was another "fattening" session for us with our another yet "oily" dinner. However, we managed to burn it off during the treasure hunt, which required everyone to run around the school, in search of clues to the mystery. Although the answer to the mystery was "lame" and "disappointing", I believed everyone enjoyed the process.

That was basically the end of Day 1. It may be tiring, but the friendship between everyone has certainly grown stronger as a result. Everything is worth it at the end of the day.

oblivion

23/6/06

2006-06-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

Haha... Just realised that I've yet to update on anything this week. I shall start my grandmother story *drums rolling*...

Sunday (18/6/06)

SAG camp started one day earlier for Huijun aka xixilia and me. It all started when xixilia msged me on Saturday night to ask if I'm able to stay overnight in school with her on Sunday. I was like O_O. Haha... but to uphold my saint-angel image, I agreed without the slightest hint of hesistation. :D So, carrying all my camping stuff, I went to queensway to meet xixilia to collect the SAG shirts. Upon reaching, xixilia called to tell me that the shop was closed. !$#@#%$@$(#@%$(!# haiz... But our trip there was not futile as we bought more stuff to prepare for the camp. At that very moment, I felt so auntie with so many plastic bags. Totally tarnished my sophisticated image. Another un-glam moment for me. haha... After our dinner at mac, we took a cab to school.

It was nearly 11pm when we reached school. After settling down, we headed to the Halo Bar to further discuss our plan for the camp. We stupidly ordered one jug of beer, despite knowing we might not be able to finish it. After a few sips of beer, xixilia's face flushed red. It was really entertaining as she looked like a red tomato at that very moment. haha... very funny. As xixilia was experiencing a bad headache and we were not able to finish it, xixilia filled her water bottle with the remaining beer.

We decided to head to Al-lameen to get lighters and candles for the camp. At the same time, a hot drink!!! haha... The hot milo was really useful as it kept us awake and took away xixilia's headache. So, never under-estimate the power of MILO!!! deng deng deng deng! haha... yup! As we were afraid the security guards wld not let us into the school, we decided to enter the school through the staff apartment. The route was eerie and dark. haha... however, this decision was proven to be wrong when we realised that the gate closed at 10.30pm. And at that time, it was nearly 2am! sigh... So, we had to take the long route back to school.

Btw the time we reached school, it was nearly 3am. It was such a tiring and adventurous experience for the both of us. haha... I guess xixilia shares the same sentiment with me. =D

To be continued....

oblivion

12/6/06

2006-06-12T14:37:00.000+08:00

I'm dead. I'm beginning to lose the momentumn. Can I resign?

I guess I'm someone who can't stay on to the same job for such a long time. This is the first time I've worked for more than 2 weeks. I desperately need a break before I really break down. My mind always drifts off whenever at work. I can't wait to get out of this office.

It's still thrilling and exciting. Juz that I've gradually grown tired of it. I need a change of environment, i need a change in job scope. I need an entire new experience, a new working environment to change the whole feel, to excite me once again. It's juz like i'm someone who can't eat the same type of chocolates 24hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You'll juz simply get sick and tired of it.

It may be thrilling, sweet in the beginning, but as time goes by, everything will juz tone down. OMG! how! i need a break! I believed after the break, it'll give me a completely different feel again. =) that's wat always happen
oblivion

11/6/06

2006-06-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

Sheena! The concert is over! Thanks for going through 2 major performances with me! haha... Although the burden u're carrying is forever heavier than me.

After the concert, we headed back to school to put back all the music stands and instruments. We had a mini celebration back in the music room, as all 800 stall seats were sold out! yay! Thus, more than 90% of the Virtuoso tix were sold out! I'll always remember the moments we all shared together.Our almuni, Qimei, bought a boxes of sparkling juice to mark our success. Although it had been a long day for everyone of us, we were full of vibe! Everyone simply went crazy during the celebration.

Yongkang, timothy, shufang and i headed to town shortly to catch The Omen at 2am. It was my first time catching a midnight movie. haha... so it was pretty thrilling. The nightlife in Orchard Road is pretty happening, as usual. The Omen was pretty disappointing as it wasn't as scary as what i've initially thought of. But i missed out some parts as I fell aslp at certain points. Whereas, shufang was cuddling besides Timothy most of the times, as she doesn't really like horror films. I think i'll be catching it again, maybe it'll give me a different feel when I'm more awake. =)

oblivion

11/6/06

2006-06-11T21:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday marked the end of the long and intensive practises that NP strings had since February. Flaws are inevitable in any concerts or performances. The 13th Virtuoso Concert was pretty successful although all the pieces ended much earlier as expected (that's wat happened when one is nervous). The Concerto For 2 Violins, the BIG piece, which Shufang, Timothy, Yongkang, Xiang Xiang and I had been preparing, could have been done better. The coordination went haywire in the middle section. Thanksfully, we were able to end the piece together. So, for those who are ignorant abt this piece, would probably think that there's nothing wrong.

Everything went well for me until the last piece, when i realised that the file which Frans took didn't contain our score. It was too late to go back in to get the correct one. It was indeed a nerve-racking moment for me as I did not memorise the song at all. What can i do? I can only pretend that everything was alright on the stage and play along. Haha... i was starring intensively at the score that was distance away from me. But it did litle help to me.

Oh well, thanks god not many of my frenz noticed it. haha... that means my acting skill was bravo! yay! But Frans looked so sorry when we got to the backstage, which made me feel so bad. haha.. instead, i took on the role to console him. Nonetheless, it was really an honour to be sitting beside Frans, coz he's a really good player. He inspired me to give in my best in watever i was playing.

Before I forget, thanks to those who came down to watch the concert! Really appreciate it! Although it may not be the best concert you've seen, or rather it's a far cry from those SSO concert, hope that you've enjoyed it. And I would like to apologise as I don't think i've given in my best for this time round. I promised for a better on in the future =)

Don: thanks for the lilies and 3 packets of pocky. The lilies are so preeeety! They're still my favourites! =) haha... btw, I got a sore throat after gorging on the pocky. haha...

The SAG gang: I was really surprised to see so many of you at the concert. I was really touched :'(. Thanks for the roses, the Starhub dog (shaking my head in disbelief, haha) and the postcard. Thanks for shouting my name out when I came out for the last piece. I wanna say thanks to my "daughter"- thanks for all ur effort in gathering ppl to support for this concert. Thanks!

Lw, ty and br: you all have been there for all the public performances i've been in. I know that, if not for me, the 3 of you wouldn't have come for these performances. I was really touched!

CH and CY: I wasn't able to catch both of you after the concert, so wanna say thanks for coming down.

Shahidah: You looked so lost when i looked for you after the concert. I know such concert isn't ur cup of tea, but u still make an effort to come down.

Sunita: Words simply aren't enough to express my gratitude to u. Nevertheless, thanks!

oblivion

4/6/06

2006-06-04T21:33:00.000+08:00

Today has been a totally crazy day for me. To start off with, I was trying to find Conrad hotel even though it was just in front of me. Instead, I retarded-ly walked one big round (took me 10mins) before I realised it was in front of me. However, while searching for the interview venue, I received a msg informing me that the interview session had to be pushed back as they have over-run it. I thought it was very sweet and nice of the person to inform me beforehand. I would prefer to be informed beforehand rather than not informing me at all - pretending that I'm aware of everything.

Upon reaching the place, I met another journalist who was also waiting for her turn. I guess I've developed a new hobby - chatting with strangers. Through every chat, it deepens my knowledge on everything, be it the society, occupation or people. After the journalist went in, the person-in-charge came out and requested if my interview could be pushed back to 3pm at Bishan. This was becoz the journalist behind me had to rush off for another coverage and the interviewee had to rush off for an autograph session. I gladly took up this "offer", as it was the only way to lessen anyone's burden. By doing so, it would also benefit 2 ppl, weren't I doing a good deed? haha...

Thus, I traveled from City Hall to Bishan. It was really tiring while waiting for the interview to start. I sorta lost the momentum and start to doze off. After waiting for 3 hours, the wait was finally over. Hmmm... the interview went smoothly. After the interview, I had to stand on the stage to take photos of my interviewee's birthday bash. Haha... it felt quite weird though. My digital camera, as usual, screwed up on me. Sigh, hope that the photos which I took are ok.

I finally knocked off at 5pm! Sigh, by then, I was already half-dead. Apparently, I had to drag myself to board the bus home. No kidding. I was really exhuasted after a day of running around and standing.

To end off the day, I need to break!

oblivion

3/6/06

2006-06-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

I guess this week is the most crazy one I've ever had so far. Needless to say about having to work on both Saturday and Sunday :'(. Aside from work, the heat is on for Virtuoso Concert! As a result, I've been going back home at ard 11+ every day.

My things have been going through my mind lately. The nature of my job scope has indeed broadened my vision and made me realised lots of things. In fact, a penny for my thought - we seemed to be under the mercy of everything, except ourselves. How time no longer belong to ours; How easy it is to manipulate one's thinking, feeling, movements. How easy to wear a sweet, innocent smile on your face to mask your anger, your displeasure, your cunning true self. I don't know.

Everyone seems to be under the mercy of another person. You can no longer control your emotions, when you become annoyed, irritated, estatic, upset because of what others do. You emotions are easily manipulated by others' actions or saying. No matter how strong one he/she appear to be, somewhere deep in the heart, he/she is still vulnerable. It's just dependent on whether he/she wants to reveal that side of his/her.

oblivion

28/5/06

2006-05-28T11:42:00.000+08:00

I find myself smiling more often nowadays. In fact, I feel enlightened. The burden which I'm carrying is getting lesser and lesser as time goes by. I'm, once again, overwhelemed by the sense of freedom. Having had 2 days of good sleep, sad to say, it's back to some serious work now. There's a need to get back to the momentumn and start drilling on both my languages and start working on the article on G-boys!

After having worked for 2mths, my expectations for myself is much higher. I'll get frustrated over the smallest mistake. Quality and quantity are what I'm after now. I do not want to be looked down on by the industry people. Although journalism is definitely not my cup of tea, I still want to strive well in this area. I want the best out of myself.

Thanks to this job, I've learnt to appreciate my family more now. The fact of seeing them less than twice a week, makes me realise their importance in my life. Becoz of my irregular working hours and my CCAs, I'll be out early in the morning and only reached home late at night. They will still be asleep by the time I reach home and be out for work or school when I wake up. There's simply little time for communication btw us, sometimes even weekend. I'll make up for it when my attachment ends. =)

oblivion

Saturday

2006-05-27T01:53:00.000+08:00

It's near 2 in the morning and Timo and I are at Shu Fang's house now. =) We're supposed to be practising Concerto For 2 violins but we've decided to take a break now. Timo just revealed the most shocking news to me - we can actually pluck the strings and play the violin at the same time. This technique also starts with a 'p', not it isn't pizzicato.

Oh well, I was supposed to go for work today but in the end, I did not. I overslept and woke up only at 3pm O_O. I was really traumatised when woke up. yeah! It just proved how tired I was, but i think it has accumulated over the weeks. Finally, my body has the courage to go against my will. Seriously, it has been the most hectic week ever since the start of my attachment.

Mon - 9-6pm
Tues - 9-7pm; 7-10pm(cca); 12-6am
Wed - 10-10pm
Thurs - 10-7pm; 7-11pm(cca)
Fri - slack

I would say that it has been a really crazy week for me. However, I felt quite bad for not going to work today. Sobz... I guess tmr i'll be spending the day to work on 2 other articles. =)

oblivion

12/5/06

2006-05-12T12:33:00.000+08:00

I won't mind working in the Chinese drama division in mediacorp in the future. The people there are not only friendly but also take care of us. The 2 directors whom I've met yesterday are modest and gave us lots of valuable advices. And not forgetting to build up my contacts, I gave them my namecard too =).

Seriously, if I've not chosen to do this attachment, I wouldn't have met people from all walks of life. It always becomes an enjoyable and eye-opening session as they share their working experiences with you. Although, as I've mentioned several times, this attachment has drained me thoroughly, I gained lots of experiences in return. This is enough to make up for everything.

Btw, the Chinese section in Tribune is finally done after 4 days of editing, juz to place 3 articles into one page. However, after all those editing, the quality of isn't there anymore. It felt as if I'm writing for the sake of filling up the empty spaces, or rather, for the sake of writing. I was pretty angry at myself for becoming the victim of circumstance. However, I've learnt to be more flexible - able to place my articles nicely in any types of layout. Also, I'm even more determined to brush up on my writing skills, so that even if I have to edit several times, the quality is still there. Just treat this as a lesson for me to learn. =)

oblivion

6/5/06

2006-05-07T18:49:00.000+08:00

It had been another tedious and hectic week for me. I've been surviving on less than 3 hours of sleep for the past few days, but the layout for the Chinese section in Tribune is almost done! Yay! After this, I'll be busy collecting stories for the next issue and also Hype magazine.

Life as a journalist is both exuberating yet tiring. My entire biological system took a 180 degrees turn since the day I took up this job, where I've become a nocturnal "creature". Public holidays are not found in my dictionary, which is pretty sad. Haha, i guess that's due to my working style, which is to complete work that is dued weeks later. However, till now, I've yet to put this into practise. haha... gotta pull up my socks. I felt pressurised to follow the steps of the previous Chinese eds, who had done a marvellous job.

Today's interview session with Cao Ge went pretty well. My worries were unfounded, when I realised that he wasn't as quiet as what what I've read about him in the articles. In fact, he was both humble and bubbly throughout the entire course of interview. As for me, I guess there's still room for improvements for my socialising skills.

Btw, after a chat with scorpion partner yesterday, I've decided not to pursue mass comm in university. Earlier on, I was still hesistant abt my decision. However, after a chat with SP and Mr Kwek, I received the light of enlightment *ding*! haha... Right now, I'll start to drill on both my languages and start saving up. So that I can pursue my ideal course in university.

Last but not least:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUDA!!!!

oblivion

1/4/06

2006-05-01T22:05:00.000+08:00

The whole of this week will be spent on doing trimedia stuff. Once again, my weekend is burnt. At least I managed to get a decent rest today =)... oh well, now I really have the feeling that I'm working as a full-time reporter in the media industry, not an intern nor a student...

oblivion

30/4/06

2006-04-30T20:05:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was another night out with the SAG members at the East Coast Park. It was a rather tiring day for me, as before that, I had to go down to mediacorp to interview one of the contestants from Superband. It's pretty sad that I've to work 7 days a week to complete my work nowadays. Work is piling up. Should I say that my job is flexible or inflexible? I guess it's far too flexible to the time that I do not have control over it... haha... nah... doesn't make sense at all

Despite the fainting spells and fatigue experienced during the day, I felt quite energetic when dusk arrived. Maybe I've become a nocturnal creature. haha... Anyway, I've always enjoyed myself with their accompaniment. By the time I met up with the SAG gang, it was nearly midnight.

The rest of the night was chatting with Hui Jun and Annie, where we sat at the beach and had a heart-to-heart talk. It's pretty rare to find true friends in poly whom you can really bare your heart and soul to. Thanks! =) Together with the rest of the SAG gang, we witnessed the the first ray of sunlight as it penetrated through the clouds. The scene was breath-taking. We walked towards the sea till it reaches our ankles. The gentle sea waves had taken away all my worries and frustrations. I felt revitalised for the first time, ever since I entered poly. The feeling was refreshing and great. At that point of time, nothing was going through my mind. How I wish life is like this every day. Wouldn't it be great?

It was nearly 7am when we left the East Coast Park. Look forward to another night out with them =)

oblivion

29/4/06

2006-04-29T14:18:00.000+08:00

My life has taken another turn ever since the start of year 3. Life is like a roller-coaster to me now, where everything passes by me swiftly; where things may turn for the worse or the better within split seconds. There isn't time for me to stop and think nor is there time for me to stop and breathe. Time is always running out for me. My mood changes swiftly as one event after another unfolds before my eyes. It's not PMS nor mood swing. This ride is far too exciting but excruciating for me. I'm really tired. I long for a break.

I like my job, I like what I'm doing but I'm juz too tired. Juz plain tired.

oblivion

19/4/06

2006-04-19T19:15:00.000+08:00

I've never been this elated ever since my attachment started. This press conference shall always be etched in my memory. Although there's still room for improvement, I've gathered enough courage to interview the big shots. I've learnt a lot from the respective people. They may be celebrities, always in the limelight, but aside from that, they're juz like us. haha... I'm really glad that i went for this press conference. Cheers!

oblivion

2/4/06

2006-04-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

Yay! My drama performances on both days ended on a high note :). After 6 months of intensive practises, everything had finally came to an end yesterday. Although i had been surviving on a couple of hours of sleep for the past 1 week, it had been a rather enjoyable experience for me.

On Friday, the first day of performance, a few technical mistakes were committed but none was serious. Strangely, I wasn't nervous at all. Cindy, rl, chaorui and kok siong came down to give my their support. Right after the performance, I went up to the audience seats to find them and crap along with them. Although we were engaging in a nonsensical talk, it was fun and enjoyable. Oh yeah, I was really shocked to see chen yin lao shi among the audiences. I may not know her well, but I can tell that she's very supportive of her students. Nothing much happened after that, except the fact that I was so tired that i slept in front of my computer and forgot to bath. O_O

On Saturday, I received several compliments from my frenz, esp the crying scene. This added on to the stress that i was already facing, as these compliments might mean that they will expect more from me. O_O... as a result, I broke into cold sweat way before the performance and could feel the butterflies in my stomach. Totally nerve-racking for me. Thanks god, everything went smoothly and was so much more better than the night before. In addition, i heard that there were audiences who were so touched by our show that they teared. Upon hearing this, everyone was elated! haha... but seriously, the two lead actresses were simply great! Their acting is so realistic that it'll win you over and make you tear. :D

Btw, Don shocked me when he presented me with a stalk of sunflower. Although he had told me beforehand, i never took him serious as it was April's fool day. A big THANKS to ya! In addition, ty, sm, br, lw and gs chipped in to buy a bouquet of flowers for me too! I was freaking touched and shocked at the same time. Coz i've always remembered my gang as "stingy" and realistic people, haha... juz kidding... Nonetheless, I was really touched by the presence of my parents and frenz who came down to support me. CY and CH also came down to support me, but as i was busy entertaining my other frenz, I din manage to chat with them. OMG, there're simply so many ppl that i wanna thanks! Feel as if i've been awarded some glamourouss award from some glamourous ppl. Btw, I was really glad when dad complimented on my acting. Because if he said it, he really meant it. Thus, he seldom compliments me.

Oh yeah, the principal of NP also came down to give us his utmost support and he thanks every cast for their stupendous performance. So sweet of him. haha...

After the performace, it was a night out in orchard road with the entire casts. The rest of the night was spent at the Party World and chilling at the coffee club. No one left, except shiya and yifang, till dawn arrived.

Looking back, we might have suffered setbacks, but everything was worth it. I was nearly in tears during the finale last night. Good job everyone!

oblivion

24/3/06

2006-03-24T10:12:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously disappointed with my grades for this semester. Oh well, should have expected this long ago. Btw, I was informed that i need to get at least a GPA of 3 in order to get into overseas uni. Sigh, thought that money can will do the magic, looks like I'm terribly wrong. Hope that year 3 will be a turning point for me :D

Although it's school holidays, I've been going back to school every single day ever since my last paper. Nonetheless, I'm proud to say that I look forward to school every day. Haha, you must think that I'm nuts but I guess it's becoz I'm passionate about what I'm doing now. I'll be having a stage performance next friday and saturday. Yes, they happened to clash with my attachment but since I'm representing the school, they can't do much but to let me off on these 2 days. :D cheers! Anyway, here's an entry that should be posted last week but wasn't able to due to some technical problem:

15/3/06

Today has been the busiest day of the month! haha... expecting more of such days to come soon.

To start off with, I had my violin exam this morning and I was the first to candidate. So, it was really nerve-racking for me. As expected, I kinda screwed up the entire exam due to my uncontrolled fear. Oh well, there's little i can do right now but to get on with my life. Duh~~ haha... Btw, I broke into cold sweat when I woke up this morning as I had a terrible nightmare - I was late for my violin exam. I cried to "wake". After all, the last the time I took my exam was 6 years ago, so I wasn't ready for any exam mood. Nonetheless, it was pretty funny. It juz showed how nervous I was even way before the exam started.

After that, met up with lw for breakfast at LJS. It was so oily, I guessed it was the oiliest breakfast I've ever had. Thanks god I had lw to share the fats with me and to spare me from running round the "garden", haha. After which, I accompanied her to the nearby polyclinic where she went for hepathetis screening. I was supposed to do it too but I backed out last min after learning that I have to pay 20 bucks. I'm simply too poor to afford it, sob sob.

We headed to town for a media conference. Yeah, another media conference. It just seemed endless. However, I was totally freaked out this time round. It was held at a grand hotel and it was very formal as compared to the previous ones I attended. Frankly speaking, I felt quite out of place there. To make it worse, my ability was doubted by someone else. I can't blame anyone, after all, I've not proven my ability to anyone nor have I written any published article. No matter how much I loathe the fact that I was looked down upon (regardless if it's intentionally or unintentionally), I must produce quality work to back my stand. Wish my luck! :D Fortunately I had lw with me, if not I'll never even think of going. I had a pretty good time interviewing the people, it was very fun. I guess I'm kinda into the mood, juz that there's still room for improvement. And I need to work harder coz till now I've yet to organise my information and pen them into a story.

The media conference was the longest I've ever attended. As a result, right after it, both of us had to rush down for a job interview. It didn't turn out to be a job interview. Yeah, and I rejected the job offer. I shall not go into any detail.

We ended off the day by making a fool out of myself. Lw took quite a few idiotic photos of me right in the middle of Raffles place. haha... it effing fun! Although it attracted many onlookers' attention, it had been a long time since i was this "wild" and "crazy"!

Btw, gotta go to slp now as I gotta go back to school to prepare for the upcoming performance. Nitez :D

Joke of the day
Anonymous: Miss, can you spare me a few minutes?
Looking at lw, me: Erm… oh ok.
Anonymous: Are the both of you 28?
Staring hard at him, before turning to lw, me: Erm, no…
Anonymous: Oh, I’m terribly sorry. Bye

*Shrugged a little before turning back to look at Lw*

oblivion

oblivion

15/3/06

2006-03-17T13:23:00.000+08:00

Today has been the busiest day of the month! haha... expecting more of such days to come soon.

To start off with, I had my violin exam this morning and I was the first to candidate. So, it was really nerve-racking for me. As expected, I kinda screwed up the entire exam due to my uncontrolled fear. Oh well, there's little i can do right now but to get on with my life. Duh~~ haha... Btw, I broke into cold sweat when I woke up this morning as I had a terrible nightmare - I was late for my violin exam. I cried to "wake". After all, the last the time I took my exam was 6 years ago, so I wasn't ready for any exam mood. Nonetheless, it was pretty funny. It juz showed how nervous I was even way before the exam started.

After that, met up with lw for breakfast at LJS. It was so oily, I guessed it was the oiliest breakfast I've ever had. Thanks god I had lw to share the fats with me and to spare me from running round the "garden", haha. After which, I accompanied her to the nearby polyclinic where she went for hepathetis screening. I was supposed to do it too but I backed out last min after learning that I have to pay 20 bucks. I'm simply too poor to afford it, sob sob.

We headed to town for a media conference. Yeah, another media conference. It just seemed endless. However, I was totally freaked out this time round. It was held at a grand hotel and it was very formal as compared to the previous ones I attended. Frankly speaking, I felt quite out of place there. To make it worse, my ability was doubted by someone else. I can't blame anyone, after all, I've not proven my ability to anyone nor have I written any published article. No matter how much I loathe the fact that I was looked down upon (regardless if it's intentionally or unintentionally), I must produce quality work to back my stand. Wish my luck! :D Fortunately I had lw with me, if not I'll never even think of going. I had a pretty good time interviewing the people, it was very fun. I guess I'm kinda into the mood, juz that there's still room for improvement. And I need to work harder coz till now I've yet to organise my information and pen them into a story.

The media conference was the longest I've ever attended. As a result, right after it, both of us had to rush down for a job interview. It didn't turn out to be a job interview. Yeah, and I rejected the job offer. I shall not go into any detail.

We ended off the day by making a fool out of myself. Lw took quite a few idiotic photos of me right in the middle of Raffles place. haha... it effing fun! Although it attracted many onlookers' attention, it had been a long time since i was this "wild" and "crazy"!

Btw, gotta go to slp now as I gotta go back to school to prepare for the upcoming performance. Nitez :D

Joke of the day
Anonymous: Miss, can you spare me a few minutes?
Looking at lw, me: Erm… oh ok.
Anonymous: Are the both of you 28?
Staring hard at him, before turning to lw, me: Erm, no…
Anonymous: Oh, I’m terribly sorry. Bye

*Shrugged a little before turning back to look at Lw*

oblivion

2/3/06

2006-03-02T19:13:00.000+08:00

Went back to school for trimedia's meeting today. It was ooook. Yeah i guess.... juz pray hard that I'll be able to pull through the next 6mths of *ahmm* pleaseant and *ahem* enjoyable attachment.

I'll be going for another press conference tmr, thanks god, it'll be held at esplanade this time round. So happy! :D

Why am I going for all these press conferences during my holidays? Juz when I've bade a kiss-goodbye to the E2 (exciting cum exhuasting) semester, ready to walk into the world of joy and peace that has been beckoning me since long, everything came crumpling down upon me. This has now became a dream to me. A dream that will only turn into reality on the day of graduation. Nah~~~ can't be that bad, haha... juz desperately in need of a good holidays. :D it'll come one day!

But thinking on a brighter side, I'll be able to build up my contacts before the whole thing start. =) hooray! Tonight, I shall piece all the information I've collected from the first press conference and hope that i can use it for hype.

oh no, gotta start searching for more stories for tribune and hype already. If not i'll be dead meat when my real attachment start. Sigh, boohooo, there goes my holidays.

Feature writing cum news writing all over again for me

oblivion

P.S (Sam! Bon vonyage! remember to bring back something for me and sarah hor, if not we'll not let ya off! :D hehe... )

2/3/06

2006-03-02T00:16:00.000+08:00

Congrats!!! Glad to know that everyone has done decently well for "A" lvl, really happy for ya all! :D

Oh yeah, I went insane again during my violin lesson today. Haha, i guess i've never recovered from my insane-ness ever since the last paper ended. Even my teacher was freaked out by my sudden craziness. haha...

Before i forget, my tag-board is working again!!! yay!!! finally!! Flood my tag-board!!!! muahahaaha... haha, i'm still high and ecstatic!!

oblivion

to that special ya

2006-02-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

This entry is specially dedicated to a special person:

Well, i know things haven't been going right for ya all these while since the day ya started this new phase of life. I'm truly sorry that i wasn't with ya most of these time due to school. In others' eyes, guardian angel the person might not be. Listen to your heart and I'll always suppport you. :)

oblivion

YAY!!!!!

2006-02-28T19:20:00.000+08:00

Yay!!! Exam's over and FREEDOM HERE I COME!!!!!! muahahahahaha!!!! so happy and so high!!!! haha... I've been looking forward to this moment ever since the start of this semester. No kidding manz! This semester has been really shit for me. I think it's because of my poor time management. As a result, i often find myself doing work at the wee hour. But, i'm proud to say, i've pulled it through! :D A round of applause for me!! yaya!!!! hahha

Btw, i juz realise the reasons why i hate exams:

Exam = loss of appetite = Loss in weight
(have been surviving solely on bread for the entire week)

Exam = Loss of sleep = grouchy = "walking zombie" in the day
(have been surviving an average of 3 hours of slp for the entire week)

However, on the good side

Exam = drinking chicken essence and bird nest. *drools*

Oh well, thanks god everything's over. I seriously can't imagine if the exam period lasts for a month. I might find myself gasping for breath in the hospital *choy*

Right after exam, had the most satisfying meal in weeks with scorpion partner! Although it's burger king (yeah, fast food), it's tastes so nice to me! haha... that's wat happened when u're deprived of proper meal for weeks :D After which, headed of for the press conference at outram park. It was my first time attending a press conference as a Chinese editor. The feeling is quite weird. The press conference was about an upcoming movie staring several hongkong and local celebrities. I was actually pleased with it this time round. The reporters are more enthusiastic, unlike the previous one...

Btw, met up with this intern who's working at Shaw organisation. She's a really sweet-looking gal and she started working at Shaw since 14 years old. OMG, that's freaking young. I was still enjoying being the "princess" of family. haha... She's waiting to go poly now. Anyway, she shared a great deal of her past experiences working at Shaw. It was pretty cool. OH yeah, she had helped out at the press conference for the "Initial D" movie last year. And yeah, she get an up-close view with Jay chou. Together with her colleagues, they fetch Jay chou and other celebrities from the Changi Airport and accompanied them throughout their entire journey in Singapore. Haha, Sam, bet you muz be green with envy. Before i forget, she said that Jay chou is more handsome in person than on tv. The other celebrity that she had the deepest impression was Takeshi, Jin Cheng Wu, when he came to town to promte the movie "Perhaps Love". She said that he was super duper handsome and you must not look into his eyes or else you'll be "electrified" by it. Haha... omg!!! So envious!!! i mean, takeshi is such a pretty boy! haha... oh well, now i really regret not having my internship at Shaw.

haha... it was a pretty insightful talk. Although she's a couple of years younger than me, her working experience is so much meaning and cool! sigh...

P.S (Sarah, i juz realised that i've forgotten to reply ya regarding abt the jog we're supposed to go for today. So sorry but i can jog with ya, ws, tim and maybe pearl everyday from now on :D:D:D:D:D:D)

oblivion

23/2/06

2006-02-23T19:08:00.000+08:00

today's the handover date for trimedia, and guess wat? I wasn't informed! I guess I was the only one who's not informed as everyone was there, I guess. This hasn't been the first time that this happened. Oh well, I guess i can't blame anyone coz i can't be bothered to find out...

Separating myself from the outside world.
why?
Coz i dun care for i'm too tired.
(maybe that's what ya called teens apathy)

*deprived of slp*

oblivion

19/2/06

2006-02-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

Although I told myself that I muz start studying, my brain doesn't seem to listen to my heart. Sigh... I have start studying tmr if not I'll never be able to make it through year 2. *touch wood*...

oblivion

i killed a bunny

2006-02-19T00:56:00.000+08:00

"you're his accomplice. if something happened him, see how u'll get on with ur life."

This sentence shall always remain as a thorn in our heart.

oblivion

yay!!!! hooray!!!

2006-02-18T13:14:00.000+08:00

Everything's over! eh.. having a second thought.. not really. I still have to work on the comic strip for our mag project @$@#%$#^$%... oh well, it'll be another tough chore for me coz I've not drawn for ages. I really mean ages. Sigh. Hope that i can pull through this hurdle.

Anyway, this week has been hell for me. I seriously have no idea how i managed to pull it through. 3 presentations and 1 performance. I had been seeing myself going home in the wee hours. Thanks god I had my dad to fetch me home, if not it wld cost a bomb to take a cab home during those hours.

Ok, let me think back of the eventful things that had happened during this week...

Monday - the start of the nightmare

Should have met up with su right after IS. However, had to "sacrifice" my date with her for TV prod project. Pearl was heading down to Bras Basah to check out the price for printing an A0 size poster. As she was going there alone, I had to go with her afterall I had the responsibility to do. Before heading down to brash basah, we went to bugis to meet up with zixin for lunch. What was meant to be a brief and short lunch turned out to be unexpectedly long.... haha. We all agreed that it had been ages since we chilled out like this. In the end, we chilled out the entire lazy afternoon and left only 3 hrs later. Although it was a waste of time (considering the fact that there were 3 projects that we had to rush for, yet i wasn't giving a damn abt it), we had a very nice and long chat. OH yeah, before i forget! In juz one afternoon, I found out that zixin and I have so much in common!!! it was so freaky! esp the expectations that we have for our "love" life in the future (note that i put "" for love?) It was really hard to find someone who have the same thinking as me. haha... she's the first one so far. It's pretty cool! haha... anyway, after the long chill out, we checked out the price at brash basah. the price that the first shop we approached was a total rip-off! It was $104!!! a daylight robbery! Thus, zixin recommended us to another shop which offered $40. It was a $64 difference! We decided that this price is reasonable and called off the day as I had to head back to school. Drama went fine, and for once, everyone of us showed improvement (including me :D). Oh yeah, something damn funny happened! There was a "break-up" scene in the play, where the guy initiated the break-up with his girlfren of 2 years. However the girlfren refused. The scene went smoothly, as usual. However, when it came to the scuffle part between the both of them as the girlfren refused to let go, something unexpectedly happened. There was a long pause... and CUT! Linus (who played the boyfren role) forgot his lines. It took him a while for him to come back to his senses as he just stared at Yiqin (the girlfren) for the next 5 seconds. He apologised and said that his eyes caught the "electric wave" sent out by yiqin while acting that scene. He was "electrified" and his mind went blank. haha... it was the first time this happened and yiqin tried not to send out any "electicity" again. Haha... so funny. that day ended at 10pm for me...

End of day 1 of hell.

oblivion

3/2/06

2006-02-03T21:58:00.000+08:00

It'll be living hell for the nxt couple of weeks. With an upcoming performance, intensive CCA practices (both SAG and Strings), and several other presentations and projects, I'll probably "die" from exhuastion by the end of this semester. However, this is not the end. MRM and advertising exams will be held the week after. sigh... Nonetheless, I believe that all of us will be able to pull through :D

Something more cheerful and worth celebrating - I realised that I don't have stage fright! haha... it's the biggest discovery of the year!! In fact, I feel very comfortable standing and performing on the stage. haha... today's performance for the open house was quite a success. Will be having 2 more performances tmr, hope that they'll go well! :D

Anyway, I have the shock of the year when Sheena appointed me as the next secretary for SAG. I don't know if it's a good news or a bad news. Although it'll be another brand new learning experience for me, I'm not sure if I'll be able to shoulder such huge responsibility while doing my attachment. I realised that my schedule is packed all the way to June. And if I were to accept this post, that means that my schedule shall be packed throughout my entire year 3. I thought I could remain as an ordinary member only. With higher post comes huge responsibility. I'm not sure if I'm ready for it. However, the good news is HuiJun will become the next president for SAG. That means that I'll be working closely with her. She's the nicest person I've ever met! She never whines nor complains when things aren't going her way. She's an exact replica of me when I was in Sec 1 (someone boosting again, haha...). However, time has changed. I'm no longer the sweet and angelic person that ppl know of. Nah, eating humble pie again, haha. ok, like what Sam has said, I'm not making any sense anymore. Haha... I guess I'm juz simply too tired.

Xiang Xiang is right. The most happiest and comforting moment that we enjoy is when we're at home. There's simply no place like home, where we can have a peace of mind and tug ourselves under the warm blankets. All the worries, stress and troubles faced will then disappeared as we slowly dift away from the reality. To me, it's the most luxuriest item that money can't buy.

ok, gotta go back to my work now. Blog again some other time.

P.S (I'll be performing at Swiss-otel on 16 Feb for some minister, which has yet to be confirmed... hmm... but still!!!! Swiss-otel!! haha... hope that they'll provide us with some wonderful refreshments for all the time and effort we put in. haha... fat hope! )

oblivion

1/2/06

2006-02-01T20:19:00.000+08:00

My dear dear cousin made my day! haha... Together with her sisters, they brought her mum to pay a new year visit to our house. Upon seeing me, she said, "you're very pretty." I went "huh"? I thought i heard tht wrong thing. Then she repeated herself, with the most charming smile on her face, "You're very pretty." haha... so happy. however, i was kinda embarrassed and I just thanks her for the compliment. I guess it was becoz i juz had a bath and, ya know, I think gals always look their best when they've juz finished bathing. The water vapour or water droplets kinda help to present the gals at their best. haha... I dunnoe, that's from my experience :D...

However, sad to say, i seriously don't even know that this cousin of mine ever exists. I simply have too many cousins. I have over 50 cousins, 50++ nephews and nieces (with some even older than me, yeah, older "=_=)... so altogether, I have nearly 150 relatives. Not distant relatives. The thought of it is enough to freak me out. I don't even recognise some of cousins, needless to say their daughters and sons. However, I proud that I'm able to recognise all my aunts and uncles. I thought it was really interesting how juz 10 persons (my aunts and uncles) are able to branch out to over 150++ ppl. I did not include my dad's side, as it was far far more complicating. And i chose to ignore the other side of my dad's as I've never seen them in my entire life before.

I was suggesting to my mum that we should do a family tree where it will start off with her sisters and brothers. It will then slowly branch out to my generation with all my cousins, followed by my nephews and nieces. In addition, a photograph will accompany each name. This will effectively help me to recognise each of them and not make a fool out of myself when i see them. If not, I really think that after my mum's generation, my brothers and I will juz unintentionally break off contacts with the others. Even if I happen to meet any of my cousins or nephews or nieces on the street, I'll juz walk past them without knowing that I'm somewhat related to them. This is damn depressing. This happened quite a few times. Haha... very embarassing.

I guess I was too traumatised at the annual gathering of all my relatives from my mum's side. That's why i was suggesting this wat-is-thought-to-be-lame-idea to my mum. Whenever lunar new year arrives, a gathering would be held to create stronger bond among all my relatives. Everyone takes their turn to organise this "event of the year". This year was held at my cousin's house. Although she lives in a landed property, it does not seem to be able to hold over 100+ people. The entire bungalow was "flooded" with people. People with familiar and unfamiliar faces. People whom I've never spoken a word to in my entire life. However, everyone enjoyed themselves and indulged fully in the festive season. It had been a long time since everyone gathered to celebrate.

Actually, this year's gathering was cancelled as my uncle who was my mum's 3rd brother, passed away last October. He was diagnosed with diabetes, which left him blind and crippled for the rest of his life. Life was a struggle for him then. His fear of lonliness was so overwhelming that he always ensured that his family is by his side. As a result, my cousins' grades suffered as they had to take turns to take care of him. I remembered once, when my mum and I paid him at the hospital. He was screaming at my cousin who was trying to change the diaper for him. As it was inconvenient for him to go to the restroom without the help of anyone, it was necessary for him to a an adult diaper.

He was an egoistic person. He deemed it was something embarrassing. He deemed the help received from his children as an act of humiliation. However, he was simply helpless. He had to put his ego aside when this disease robbed him of his eyesight and limbs. It was a painful experience for him. He lived in a world of darkness, where sometimes in the middle of the night, he would wake up screaming. He simply refused to accept this reality. I remembered him saying this to my mum, "I'm very scared. It's so dark. I simply could not see anything." Such sentence came out from a person who used to be so egoistic, so highly respected, was hard to imagine.

He seemed to be as helpless as a newborn baby. He juz sat at the edge of the bed, and looking down as if he was trying to hide away his depressed expression from us. He was desperately trying to save that little pride that he had left. He wanted to show that he was still as strong and egoistic as before. However, everything seemed to betrayed him.

My mum would sigh and, occasionally tear after every visit. It was a very depressing sight. However, i guess the most comforting is that his daughters and son were by his side all the while. Although he always shouted and scolded them, they remained by his side and accompanied him throughout his remaining days. At the his wake, everyone teared except his children. They took on the roles of comforting my mum and other relatives. They were glad that their dad had finally broke away from all these pains and sufferings embarked on another journey. They remained strong throughout, this is something which everyone, including me, deeply admired about. I guess their dad must be smiling and feeling proud of them.

oblivion

20/1/06

2006-01-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

Yay!!! I went for my NP strings practise today! Wat does that mean? For once, I went for all my CCAs!

Monday: 6.30pm - 10pm
Tuesday: 6.30pm - 10pm
Wednesday: 3pm - 7pm
Thursday: 6.30pm - 10pm
Saturday: 9.45 - 4pm

Haha, you must think that I muz be crazy manz! But I feel so proud of myself as i managed to survive through the entire week without falling sick! haha... yeah, you're guessing right, I'm boosting myself =). haha... nah... but i guess this wun last long, as I'll start skipping my CCAs again to gain more sleep. Haiz... i really miss the 12 hours of sleep that i used to have. 12 hours of fantasitc dreams; 12 hours to peace; isn't that a luxury?

Anyway, next week is CNY. Oh boy oh boy, I've not even bought new clothes and I doubt I'll ever have the time next week. As expected, my schedule is packed again. Haiz... I guess I'll have to dig out some clothes from my closet and hope that no one will notice.

oblivion

21/1/06

2006-01-21T03:01:00.000+08:00

I'm back from my photography trip *waving hysterically*... oh well, it wasn't a fruitful trip as surprisingly mohd sultan was very quiet. So where did all those "night owls" go to. Well well well, I bet you must have guessed it. Everyone went to MOS. As compared to MOS, Mohd sultan looked so deserted all of a sudden. It was pretty sad though.

Oh well, just hope that one of the photographs will receive "the stamp of approval" from terence *chop* =). Oh yeah, Dad bought himself a new mobile phone which I have been craving for - Motorola Razor V3. It's so cool! Thanks god he din purchase the latest model which is pink in colour, if not i'll simply snatch it away from him. hehe...

Anyway, that idiotic and menance brother of mine commented that my english will never be as good as my Mandarin. Ok, I admitted it and accepted it. In fact, I sorta treated this sentence as a compliment for me =). At least, it shows that my Chinese has not deteriorated over the years. Most importantly, it proved that I've made the right choice of becoming the Chinese editor for Trimedia. Although it's gonna be hard for me (esp i've not touched the language for wat seemed ages), I'm willing to give it a go =). *hearting pounding hard against my chest* I'm really looking forward to my attachment where I'll be working closely with Mr Quek - someone whom I really respect.

oblivion

20/1/06

2006-01-20T23:36:00.000+08:00

It's a Friday!!! And what does it mean? WEEKEND!!!!! YAY!!! The long-waited weekend has finally arrived!!! *jumping in joy* Haha... Anyway, to start off, I muz give myself a round of applause! *clap clap* Because for once since the start this year, this is the first time I went for all my CCAs during weekdays (not counting tmr). Yay!!! It proved to be really exhuasting as I've been going home at 10++ everyday except today. I was so exhuasted to the extent that I wun be surprised if I were to ""drop dead" on the streets and sleep till I'm satisfied. But it'll juz be utterly shocking for ppl around me. Anyway, I'm so proud of myself! =)

Yesterday was the first time I put on make-up. No, I wasn't going clubbing or going on a date (coz no one wants me, sob sob...). It was for my drama practise as everyone needs to put on make-up for themselves on the day of performance. And guess wat? I'm acting as a mother. So as expected, I had to really put on loads of make-up to make myself look older. I had all these wrinkles all over my face with the help of my shi mu. And the make-over was a total success!! yay!! though it wasn't a make-over that makes me looks hotter, haha... Oh yeah, it was really irritating as my skin colour is too yellowish. So i had all these trial-and-error thingy... the make-up put on my face had yield a different result from the others, despite the fact that we're all using the same colours. My skin turned out even more yellowish, as if I'm mal-nourished. So, I had to wash off the make-up on my face and put it on again and again. Haiz... but it was fun!!! haha... it felt as if my face had become an art piece... haha... oh, how much I missed the days spent in the art room back in secondary school... feeling nostalgic again *faint*... oh well, going to mohd sultan now, hope that i can get some really good pix. Wish my luck =)

oblivion